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A drunk man flops down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie is stained, his face is smeared with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin is sticking out of his coat pocket. He opens a newspaper and begins reading.

After a few minutes the guy turns to the priest and asks, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"

The disgusted priest answers: "Loose living, wicked women, too much alcohol, and contempt for your fellow man."

"I'll be damned!" the drunk mutters, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he said, nudges the man and apologizes: "I'm very sorry; I didn't mean to be so harsh. How bad is your arthritis?"

"Oh, I don't have it," replies the man; "It says here that the Pope does."

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