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New Anti Chuck Norris Jokes

The most recently added 15 New Anti Chuck Norris Jokes. Please rate as many Random Anti Chuck Norris Jokes as you feel like.
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Chuck Norris cannot have hemorroids. Because he is a perfect asshole.

Chuck Norris is so gay, when he got to Brokeback auditions he handed the other actors a 12" dildo pulled down his pants and asked who was first.

Chuck Norris is so gay he is Coldplays groupy

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

As a teen, Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later, the nuns gave birth to the 1976 Buccaneers, the worst team in NFL history, finishing their season 0-14 and losing by an average of 20 points per game. They were also shut out five times that season.

Jack Bauer was overheard saying to Chuck Norris, "Let's get this straight: the only reason you're still conscious is because I don't wanna carry you."

When they asked Chuck Norris to be in Brokeback Mountain 2 he simply said "How many sex scenes?"

Chuck Norris has yet to find the G-spot. Scientists find it perplexing that Chuck Norris doesn't know his way around his vagina.

The only number Chuck Norris can divide by is 0, because Chuck Norris is the definition of nothing.

The morning after sex with his girlfriend, Chuck Norris likes to greet her with breakfast in bed.

Chuck Norris has the ultimate World of Warcraft character! But he joins parties and leaves halfway through and always causes guild drama.

Chuck Norris once was at the theater watching Crossroads, when someone spotted him sending the following text message to someone: "Count me in on the gay clown orgy."

Chuck Norris was born Chuck Stevens but took his wife's name when they were married.

Chuck Norris didn't really tell Admiral Akbar about the trap.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He passes out after two wine coolers.