New Chuck Norris Jokes

Added on Tuesday, April 29th

Chuck Norris could shoot someone and still have time to roundhouse kick him in the face before the bullet hit.

Added on Wednesday, March 12th

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f*cking Indian.

Added on Friday, January 11th

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Added on Thursday, January 10th

Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.

Added on Thursday, December 6th     Submitted by: HanaBanana

Chuck Norris invented the spoon because killing people with knives was too easy.

Added on Tuesday, October 16th     Submitted by: Nathan Umandap

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctors had to call the bomb squad

Added on Monday, October 8th

Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.

Added on Friday, September 28th

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Added on Friday, August 17th     Submitted by: Bill Sizemore

Luke Skywalker uses the Force. The Force uses Chuck Norris.

Added on Thursday, May 3rd

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

Added on Thursday, May 3rd

Chuck Norris once partook in a pissing contest outside of a bar. His opponent drowned.

Added on Wednesday, April 25th

Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

Added on Monday, March 12th

Guns don't kill people Chuck Norris kills people.

Added on Friday, December 15th

Chuck Norris successfully separated twins conjoined at the head by roundhouse kicking them in the face.

Added on Wednesday, November 1st

Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with barbed wire.