New Gay Jokes

Added on Tuesday, June 23rd     Submitted by: Nolan

Q: What does the gay sperm say to the other gay sperm?

A: How are we supposed to find the egg with all this shit in the way.

Added on Tuesday, June 23rd

Top Ten Things Heterosexuals Need to Know About Gay People

10. We didn't invent disco music so stop blaming us.

9. We're not sure about Ricky Martin either.

8. We also didn't invent the color black, but we are in complete agreement that you look better in it.

7. We are secretly glad Anne Heche is back on your team. She scares us.

6. Our so-called "gaydar" does not get us more cable stations or better reception.

5. We think your mini-vans are sooo cute!

4. David Crosby was not Melissa Etheridge's only choice.

3. If he's using two or more hair products at any one time -- yes, he is.

2. If she's won Wimbledon sixteen times, she is too.

And, the number one thing that heterosexuals need to know about gay people is...

1. Relax, we don't want you!

Added on Monday, June 15th

Q: What's a gay masochist?

A: A sucker for punishment.

Added on Thursday, April 2nd

The church service was under way and they passed the collection plate. When the preacher saw a $100.00 bill in the collection plate, he stop the service and announced "who ever put the $100.00 bill in the plate please stand up".

A gay man stood up and said "I did".

The preacher told him "since you put that money in the plate I would like to let you pick out three hymes."

Excitedly, the gay guy said, "well I'll take him and him and him."

Added on Monday, September 29th

Q: How can you tell if your at a gay picnic?

A: All the Hotdogs smell like shit.

Added on Monday, September 22nd     Submitted by: G-Baby

Q:What did the gay guy bring to the Christmas Party?

A: A Fruitcake

Added on Monday, September 15th

Do you have a fairy godmother?

No, but I have an uncle I'm not too sure about.

Added on Monday, July 14th

Three men armed with shotguns stormed into a late-night diner. "Everybody down on the floor!" one shouted. "We're going to rape all the men and rob all the women."

"No" another said. "That's wrong. We're going to rob all the men and rape all the women."

At that a man cowering in the corner piped up and said, "I think you should listen to that first darling."

Added on Wednesday, June 25th

A twink who was opening a new bar was consulting his lawyer. The lawyer explained to him that he needed a liquor license.

"That's disgusting!" he exclaimed. "I don't need that! This is a GAY bar!"

Added on Thursday, March 13th

Merrie Melodies or just gay 'toons?

Thank God the Rev. Jerry Falwell has stepped in to clean up children's television. Last week he outed Tinky Winky, from that perverted show the"Teletubbies," because, Falwell pronounced, the character is clearly a fount of gayness: He's purple, the gay color; he has an antenna shaped like a triangle, the gay symbol; and he carries a purse, something all gay people do.

But Falwell's work is far from over. You see, kiddy TV is downright rife with gayety. Heck, Toon Town is like one big circuit party and has been for years.

*** Fred Flintstone
Evidence: His nickname on the Bedrock bowling team: "Twinkle-toes Flintstone." The show's theme song ends "...we'll have a gay old time!" Wears an orange dress with little triangles on it. Hangs out with Barney far more than Wilma.

*** Bugs Bunny
Evidence: Often stands with hand on hip. Plays a hairdresser in one episode. Frequently dresses in drag. Loves to throw on a top hat and tails and belt out Broadway show-tunes with his buddy Daffy -- who, it's worth noting, has a lisp. Has a history of kissing Elmer Fudd on the lips

*** Velma (of Scooby Doo)
Evidence: Always tries to sit next to Daphne in the Mystery Machine. Sports that butch haircut. Has broad shoulders and wears thick turtleneck-sweaters and knee socks. Never once shagged Shaggy.

*** Popeye
Evidence: Eats lots of salad. Wears a sailor suit, even though he hasn't been on a ship in years. Does little sailor-dances. Dates a flat-chested transvestite named Olive Oyl. Best friend named Wimpy.

*** Batman and Robin
Evidence: Robin's nickname: Boy Wonder. Batman's real name: Bruce. Both wear tights. They're in great shape. They like to show each other their "grappling hooks."

*** Peppermint Patty
Evidence: Has a deep, gravelly voice. Wears pants, not dresses like the other Peanuts gals. Plays a mean game of football. Likes to taunt Charlie Brown. Always hanging out with that androgynous Marcie. Wears comfortable shoes.

Nickname: Sir.

*** The Pink Panther
'Nuff said