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New Gross Jokes

The most recently added 10 New Gross Jokes. Please rate as many Random Gross Jokes as you feel like.
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Drew Peterson, incarcerated for the death of his third wife while his fourth wife is still missing, jokes with a jailer.

"Do you know the difference between family and friends?' Drew asks.

"No," replies the jailer with a suspicious look on his face.

Drew smirks. "Friends will help you move. Family will help you move a body.

Q: When does a woman know that her pussy stinks?

A: When the guy licks her asshole instead.

Q: What does an elephant use as a tampon?

A: A Sheep

Q: And what does it use as a vibrator?

A: An epileptic sheep

Q: Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs?

A: Stephen Hawking in a house fire!

Q: How do you know if your bartender is mad at you?

A: You find a string in your Bloody Mary.

There once was a man called Dave,
who dug up a dead prostitutes grave,
she was covered in shit
and missing a tit
but hey, look at the money he saved!

Randy was in the hospital for tests. At 11:00 AM, they brought him soup for lunch. He refused it. At 2:00 PM, they again tried to serve him some soup, which he refused.

Again, at 5:00 PM and 7:00 PM, they tried, and both times Randy turned down the soup, so they gave up. In preparation for the next day's tests, they entered his room at 3:00 AM, 4:30 AM, and 6:00 AM and gave him an enema each time.

When Randy got home from the hospital after the tests, he told his wife, "Whatever you do, if you go to that hospital and they try to serve you soup, take it. If you refuse it, they sneak in while you're asleep and shove it up your ass."

Q: What's the difference between an oyster shucker with epilepsy, and a hooker with diarrhea?

A: The oyster shucker shucks between fits!

Q: How do you get a tissue to dance?

A: You blow a little boogie into it.

Q: What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot?

A: Half a dog