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New Lawyer Riddles

The most recently added 10 New Lawyer Riddles. Please rate as many Random Lawyer Riddles as you feel like.
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Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an amoeba?

A: One wears a tie.

Q: Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died?

A: He was looking for loopholes!

Q: Why does the bar association prohibit lawyers and clients from having sex?

A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a lawyer?

A: You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

Q: What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad?

A: Senator.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a lab rat?

A: There are just some things that a rat won't do.

Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Attila the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?

A: Shoot the lawyer twice.

Q: Do you know why lawyers wear neckties?

A: To keep the foreskin from creeping out.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

A1: 'How many can you afford?'

A2: It only takes one to change your bulb...to his.

A3: Two. One to change it and one to keep interrupting by standing up and shouting 'Objection!'

A4: Three. One to do it and two to sue him for malpractice.

A5: Three. One to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company.

A6: Three. One to sue the power company for insufficiently supplying power, or negligent failure to prevent the surge that made the bulb burn out in the first place, one to sue the electrician who wired the house, and one to sue the bulb manufacturers.

A7: Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

A: The lawyer charges more.