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New Obama Jokes

The most recently added 10 New Obama Jokes. Please rate as many Random Obama Jokes as you feel like.
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Top Ten New Names for Obama Care

10. The Unaffordable Care Act

9. The Step on a Crack and Break Your Mother’s Back Act

8. The Obama-I-Don’t-Care Act

7. The Wanna See Me Pull Healthcare Out of My Hat Act

6. The Liar Liar Pants on Fire, the List of Cancellations is Long as a Telephone Wire Act

5. The Barack Obama ramalamading-dong Act

4. The Obama Flim Flam Act

3. The Jack and Jill fell down the hill and both their heads got smashed, they tried to signup for healthcare, but the website crashed Act

2. The I Can’t Believe It’s not Healthcare Act

1. The “No No, I really mean it this time, You can keep your doctor” Act



A co-worker from my LAPD Communications days sent me an email with this from a Marine Gunnery Sgt:

"When I joined the Marine Corp it was illegal to be a homosexual, then it became optional. I'm leaving before Obama makes it mandatory."



In a conciliatory move by the Obama White House, President Obama has asked the U. S. Board on Geographical Names to name the fault line beneath Haiti after the 43rd president of the United States, George W. Bush.

This particular fracture in the tectonic plate will henceforth be called "Bush's Fault."



Having received bad press and protests for making jokes about illegal immigration and border security in meetings in Texas, President Obama spoke to the press in Pennsylvania on a safer subject, oil prices. Thinking of the reported windfall taxes oil producing states like North Dakota were collecting, he mentioned that not all Americans he'd spoken with thought high oil prices were that bad.

His remarks were greeted with a stunned silence made only worse when one young reporter who had been following the President's trip in Pennsylvania spoke up.

"So, other than that, Mr. President, what else did you talk with the Amish about?"



Q: Why did President Obama run for office as a Democrat?

A: The Communist Party didn't have enough voters.



Americans can remember when Ronald Reagan was President, and Bob Hope and Johnny Cash were still with them.

Well, now they have Obama, no hope, and no cash!



Q: Why did astronomers name the new found planet after Obama?

A: Because it was as far out of this world as any of his policies.



President Obama is down south courting red states voters by touring schools. At a 6th grade class in North Carolina, the President asks the children if they know the difference between a recession and a depression.

One little girl raises her hand. "My daddy says if the neighbor loses his job, its a recession, but if my daddy loses his job its a depression."

President Obama smiles at the little girl's answer, until she finishes..."and if you lose your job, Mr. President, my daddy says that's a recovery."



An illegal alien, a Muslim and a communist walk into a bar...

The bartender say, “What can I get you, Mr. President?”



Its hard to describe in one sentence the Obama legacy so far. What with earning a Nobel Peace Prize, getting U.S. troops out of Iraq and Afghanistan, closing Guantanamo Bay, trying terrorists in Federal Courts on U.S. soil, stopping the influx of illegal aliens, creating jobs, lowering the deficit, balancing the budget and cutting the cost of medical treatment while insuring the masses.

Some critics have asked the difference between Obama's accomplishments and a car battery.

A car battery has a positive side.