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30 Random Anti-Chuck Norris Facts

30 Random Anti-Chuck Norris Facts
Check our our Top 30 Anti-Chuck Norris Facts as rated by YOU, our users. Rate some of our Random Anti-Chuck Norris Facts.



Chuck Norris' inflamed prostate is the size of a watermelon, and produces really gross shit that has no use in any way in modern society.



Chuck Norris' catheter bag exploded and flooded one-third of the United States killing millions.



Chuck Norris' pubes cover the head of Carrot Top.



Chuck Norris gave a thumbs up on "Dodgeball" because he thought William Shatner was asking him out.



Chuck Norris tried to copyright the copyright symbol. It was the first time the employees at the United States Patent and Trademark Office have ever laughed.



Chuck Norris bet on Poland in both World Wars.



Chuck Norris was once spit on by a camel. Chuck Norris then broke out in anger, singing "My Humps" at the top of his lungs to regain his dignity.



Chuck Norris lives on an island surrounded by a sea of his own tears.



Despite Chuck Norris' colored sidekick on "Walker, Texas Ranger," he is an adamant racist.



Chuck Norris is the only person with no matches on eHarmony.com.



When Chuck Norris was offered bread at a restaurant he replied, "No thank you, I'm watching my carbs."



Chuck Norris has yet to find the G-spot. Scientists find it perplexing that Chuck Norris doesn't know his way around his vagina.



Chuck Norris is credited with the invention of bottled water.



Chuck Norris gives better rimjobs than West Coast Customs.



Chuck Norris sucks dick for cab fare and then walks home.



In preparation for his future role as a gay cowboy, a young Jake Gyllenhaal spent a year as Chuck Norris' understudy on the set of "Walker, Texas Ranger."



A shepherd once accidentally spilled his coffee on Chuck Norris' lap and refused to apologize. Chuck Norris went to the man's field and fucked every one of his sheep. Chuck Norris wasn't trying to get back at him, he just loves to fuck sheep.



Chuck Norris throws with his right hand like I do with my left hand. I'm right-handed.



Chuck Norris doesn't like fat chicks. He loves them.



Chuck Norris scored an 8 on the "Are you a good boyfriend" quiz in Cosmo.



Chuck Norris raped my dog. And then my youth. And then my dog again.



Chuck Norris is the real author of ALL chuck norris facts.



Chuck Norris goes to bars and slips roofies into his own dirty martinis in hopes of getting picked up.



Chuck Norris will ram his rod straight down the throat of anyone who calls him gay. He's just funny like that.



Chuck Norris tattooed "No day butt today" on his ass, partly because of the pun, but mainly because he loves "Rent."



Chuck Norris once took a bite out of a Boy George vinyl and swallowed it.



Chuck Norris 2006: Spin-kicks for Breast Cancer Research.



After a night of passionate love with Tony Danza, Chuck Norris took the morning after pill, fearing an unwanted pregnancy.



Chuck Norris' hip breaking was heard across 12 states.



Jack Bauer was overheard saying to Chuck Norris, "Let's get this straight: the only reason you're still conscious is because I don't wanna carry you."




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