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30 Random Anti-Chuck Norris Facts

30 Random Anti-Chuck Norris Facts
Check our our Top 30 Anti-Chuck Norris Facts as rated by YOU, our users. Rate some of our Random Anti-Chuck Norris Facts.

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Best Jokes   Anti-Chuck Norris Facts

Chuck Norris once stopped mid round-house kick because he inexplicably soiled himself.

Before being discovered as a martial arts talent, Chuck Norris was a writer for Hallmark greeting cards.

There are now over 100 official sex "maneuvers" popular in the gay community known simply as "The Chuck Norris."

Chuck Norris has 11 scrapbooks full of "Love Is" cartoons.

Chuck Norris is the driving force behind Chuck Norris facts. He has even been caught in public speaking in the third person.

Chuck Norris once completed a roundhouse kick so powerfully that all the hair from the top of his head ended up on his face. This is also the origin of his cowboy hat, a mark of shame.

Chuck Norris masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris. Too bad Chuck Norris is a guy.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Chuck Norris goes to bars and slips roofies into his own dirty martinis in hopes of getting picked up.

Chuck Norris is proud of the facts that his pubes are longer and girthier than his penis.

Chuck Norris once took a bite out of a Boy George vinyl and swallowed it.

Chuck Norris always wears knee pads. When asked if they were for stunt purposes, Chuck Norris replied "sure."

Chuck Norris once sent himself flowers on Valentine's Day to trick people into thinking he had a girlfriend. Too bad he signed the card, "From Chuck Norris."

Chuck Norris is an avid reader. He proudly owns all first edition copies of "The Babysitters Club."

As a child, Chuck Norris was often caught spooning with other ginger kids during nap time.

Chuck Norris has no friends on Myspace.

Chuck Norris' catheter bag exploded and flooded one-third of the United States killing millions.

Chuck Norris can suck the AIDS virus right out of a grown man's cock, then spit it into a bottle for research.

Chuck Norris puts dye in his beard because he is afraid of grey hairs.

Chuck Norris masturbates furiously in a corner whenever he sees a Bowflex commercial.

Chuck Norris orders the "side salad with low-fat dressing" at a BBQ joint.

Many stuntmen who have worked with Chuck Norris complain on set that Chuck Norris makes far too many so-called jokes about "exchanging blows."

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He passes out after two wine coolers.

Chuck Norris always buys the Double Gulp at 7-11 even though he knows he can't finish it.

Chuck Norris' ejaculatory fluid is composed of 100% Noxema skin cream.

Chuck Norris didn't go to college, but his mom went to college!

Chuck Norris's second most lethal art is face painting.

Although he has the power to eliminate them, Chuck Norris allows emos to exist. Jesus rolls his eyes at this gesture every time.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in fairy tales. He thinks you should only find happy endings at the strip club.

Chuck Norris shampoos with conditioner, and then actually repeats.

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