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30 Random Chuck Norris Facts

30 Random Chuck Norris Facts
Check out our Top 30 Chuck Norris Facts as rated by our users.
Rate some of our Chuck Norris Facts.



Every 5 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone dies of Chuck Norris.


The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs. Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.



A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.



What many people don't know is chuck Norris is the founder of planned parenthood. Not even unborn children can escape his wrath.



Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.



Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks people in the face first and asks questions later.


Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.



Chuck Norris is "The best a man can get"


Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.



Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.



Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.



Chuck Norris' shit don't stink. Chuck Norris is the shit.


The phrase 'break a leg' was originally coined by Chuck Norris's co-stars in Walker, Texas Ranger as a good luck charm indicating that a broken leg might be the worst extent of their injuries. This never proved to be the case.



The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.



Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bed frames, and sidewalks.



Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.



Chuck Norris once roundhouse-kicked a ten dollar bill into 200 nickels.



Chuck Norris has been arrested on several occasions for breaking the laws... of physics.


Chuck Norris uses Tabasco sauce instead of Visine.



Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.



Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard.



One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.



For Chuck Norris, every street is "one way". HIS WAY.



Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.



A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.



Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.



Chuck Norris likes his meat so rare he only eats unicorns!


In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.



Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a "hole." Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.



Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.




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