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30 Random Chuck Norris Facts

30 Random Chuck Norris Facts
Check out our Top 30 Chuck Norris Facts as rated by our users.
Rate some of our Chuck Norris Facts.

Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.

Science Fact: Roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called Chucktanium.

Chuck Norris' dick is so big, it has it's own dick, and that dick is still bigger than yours.

Due to Newton's 3rd law of motion, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

Crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following Walker, Texas Ranger, on a routine patrol.

Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.

Movie trivia: The movie "Invasion U.S.A." is, in fact, a documentary.

Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and accidentally ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.

The 11th commandment is "Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris" This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.

For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris wears Orion's Belt around his pinky toe and he eats with the Big Dipper.

Chuck Noris is God.The reason he's on Earth is to see how many of us he's gonna roundhouse kick us to Hell.

The original title for Star Wars was "Skywalker: Texas Ranger". Starring Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.

Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.

"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.

If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.

How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one. From Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.

The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.

Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.

Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.

Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience

70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

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