30 Random Chuck Norris Facts30 Random Chuck Norris Facts Chuck Norris's sweat has burned holes in concrete. Chuck Norris can stick a CD up his ass and burn data onto it The world's fastest car has 7 gears. 5, 6, and Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris says "More cowbell", he MEANS it. Chuck Norris can hear Silence Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg. Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil. Everything King Midas touches turns to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead. CNN was originally the Chuck Norris Network but Chuck was so awesome when people watched it there heads exploded! President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time. The helicopter was invented after Chuck Norris was observed doing 8 roundhouse kicks a second. Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on. One time, Chuck Norris accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio. Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep. Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego. Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain. What happens when Chuck Norris gets hit by a truck? Chuck Norris doesn't get run over, the truck gets chucked-over! They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem - it wouldn't take shit from anybody. Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear. Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost. When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face. Instead of having a cigarette after sex, Chuck Norris heads outside and brands his cattle. The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales. Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears. Chuck Norris eats a bowl of diamonds every morning. Chuck Norris' dick is so big, it has it's own dick, and that dick is still bigger than yours. |