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30 Random Chuck Norris Jokes

Here are 30 Random Chuck Norris Facts.
You can also see the Top 30 Chuck Norris Facts as rated by our users. Would you please rate some of our Random Chuck Norris Facts?


Current Joke Rating: 3.23

Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.



Current Joke Rating: 3.02

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.



Current Joke Rating: 3.33

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.



Current Joke Rating: 3.09

Deaths trainer is Chuck Norris.



Current Joke Rating: 2.94

Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.



Current Joke Rating: 3.17

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.



Current Joke Rating: 3.18

Chuck Norris can kick through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time.



Current Joke Rating: 3.03

It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin.



Current Joke Rating: 3.3

Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.



Current Joke Rating: 2.93

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.



Current Joke Rating: 2.62

Chuck Norris once played with Legos. The Ancient Egyptians still thank him for it.



Current Joke Rating: 3.01

In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease"



Current Joke Rating: 2.74

Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.



Current Joke Rating: 3.1

A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.



Current Joke Rating: 2.84

The word 'Kill' was invented by Chuck Norris. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'.



Current Joke Rating: 3.18

Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"



Current Joke Rating: 2.8

Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.



Current Joke Rating: 3.59

Chuck Norris can sit in the shade...in an open field.



Current Joke Rating: 2.97

How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one. From Chuck Norris.



Current Joke Rating: 2.98

The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.



Current Joke Rating: 3.89

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - backwards.



Current Joke Rating: 3.04

Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.



Current Joke Rating: 2.97

Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.



Current Joke Rating: 3.33

Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience



Current Joke Rating: 2.91

You know the Super Bowl, that's what Chuck Norris eats his breakfast out of.



Current Joke Rating: 2.86

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.



Current Joke Rating: 3.05

Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.



Current Joke Rating: 3.07

Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.



Current Joke Rating: 3.02

"Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" was originally written as Chuck Norris' theme song.



Current Joke Rating: 2.91

Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.