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Random 24 Jack Bauer Facts

Random 24 Jack Bauer Facts.
Check out our Top 30 Jack Bauer Facts as rated by our users.
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Current Joke Rating: 2.3

Micheal Jackson's face is was not the work of plastic surgeons. It was Jack Bauer.



Current Joke Rating: 2.53

President Logan is wrong. Jack Bauer disappearing will not be for the good of this country. Jack Bauer is the good of the country.



Current Joke Rating: 3.1

If Jack Bauer was black, his name would be Curtis.



Current Joke Rating: 2.71

If Jack Bauer had a time machine, Teri still would have died because he would have saw how much more badass he's become since her death.



Current Joke Rating: 3.15

Guys wearing a t-shirt "I'm with stupid" suddenly realize that the hand is showing upwards when they're standing next to Jack Bauer.



Current Joke Rating: 2.96

G.I. Joe has Jack Bauer action figures.



Current Joke Rating: 2.96

If Jack Bauer was the president, it'd be a one-man administration.



Current Joke Rating: 3.14

Jack Bauer makes emo kids smile.



Current Joke Rating: 2.71

Ariel Sharon did not have a stroke. He heard Jack was looking for him and his brain exploded.



Current Joke Rating: 2.57

7 may have ate 9, but once Jack Bauer got through threatening 7's kids and making him cry, numbers everywhere breathed easy again.



Current Joke Rating: 2.89

When Jack Bauer pissses into the wind, the wind changes direction.



Current Joke Rating: 2.79

If you're in Jack Bauer's hands, you're not covered under our policy. That's Allstate's stand.



Current Joke Rating: 3.3

Jack Bauer can win the world series of poker without being dealt a hand.



Current Joke Rating: 3.09

Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.



Current Joke Rating: 3.2

Someone once tried to stab Jack Bauer with a knife. The knife bled to death.



Current Joke Rating: 3.15

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.



Current Joke Rating: 3.06

Priests confess to Jack Bauer.



Current Joke Rating: 2.45

Jack Bauer doesn't cut paper. He just angrily yells at it until it cuts itself into the shape he desires.



Current Joke Rating: 3.07

75% of Earth is covered by water. The other 25% is covered by Jack Bauer.



Current Joke Rating: 3.08

Jack Bauer once saved 18 babies from a burning building. Upon seeing that he had time to spare, Bauer threw 8 of the babies back in, poured fuel on them and waited 12 minutes before re-entering the building and saving the remaining babies just in time.



Current Joke Rating: 2.6

What Jack Bauer whispered into Nina Myers' ear is so bad ass, your head would explode upon hearing or reading it. Nina merely went insane because it was whispered to her.



Current Joke Rating: 3.03

Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of water, but Jack Bauer thought they were fetching nukes so he killed them both and assumed the other Jack's identity.



Current Joke Rating: 3.04

Jack Bauer is dead on the inside, so that you can be alive on the outside.



Current Joke Rating: 2.46

Jack Bauer once went to a religious retreat in high school, where, by the end of the weekend, everyone was singing, "Jack Bauer in the highest."