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Random 24 Jack Bauer Facts

Random 24 Jack Bauer Facts.
Check out our Top 30 Jack Bauer Facts as rated by our users.
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Current Joke Rating: 2.91

Jack Bauer caught a fly with chopsticks his fist try.



Current Joke Rating: 2.85

When you get in a fist fight with Jack Bauer, he kills you with your own fists.



Current Joke Rating: 3

When Jack approaches a yield sign he doesn't slow down. Jack yields to no man.



Current Joke Rating: 3.46

There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Jack Bauer way. It's basically the right way but faster and more deaths.



Current Joke Rating: 3.11

24 Season DVDs cannot be copied because Jack Bauer will not be burned.



Current Joke Rating: 3.01

Jack Bauer did not hire clowns for Kim's birthday parties. He stood in front of the children and demanded they enjoy themselves.



Current Joke Rating: 3.29

Jack Bauer's interpretation of the meaning of life is simple. End it.



Current Joke Rating: 2.62

Jack Bauer doesn't sleep. He absorbs the sleep every person he killed had before he killed them.



Current Joke Rating: 3.16

President George W. Bush submitted a letter of appreciation to Jack Bauer and the writers of 24 for making a more unlikeable president than himself.



Current Joke Rating: 3.1

Jack Bauer is the American dream. That is to say when America sleeps it dreams of Jack Bauer.



Current Joke Rating: 3.21

Jack Bauer's in-box has no spam. Spammers are terrified of Jack Bauer.



Current Joke Rating: 2.65

Jack Bauer holds two world records. In a 24 hour period, he has a) killed the most people and b) delivered the most justice.



Current Joke Rating: 2.51

The answer is Jack Bauer, the question doesn't matter.



Current Joke Rating: 3.18

Jack Bauer doesn't own Tivo. His VCR simply lives in fear of ever forgetting to record his shows again.



Current Joke Rating: 2.64

Jack Bauer made the sun change direction because it was in his eyes.



Current Joke Rating: 3

If Jack Bauer misspells a word, your dictionary is wrong.



Current Joke Rating: 2.85

When Jack Bauer masturbates, he doesn't say he's going to jerkoff, he say's "it's time to punish my genitals".



Current Joke Rating: 2.87

If there was a bomb on a 60 second timer and Jack was handcuffed, he would dial CTU with his nose and disable the bomb with his teeth.



Current Joke Rating: 3.06

Terri Schiavo responded to Jack Bauer's commands when nobody else was in the room.



Current Joke Rating: 3.3

Don't beg Jack Bauer to shoot you. He will simply shoot your wife. No man tells Jack Bauer what to do.



Current Joke Rating: 3.32

Jack Bauer is right behind you. By the time you turn around, he'll be in hiding.



Current Joke Rating: 2.8

In high school Jack Bauer was voted "Most Likely to Kill the Foreign Kid"... and "Best Eyes."



Current Joke Rating: 2.51

If Jack Bauer was in Star Wars, the Emperor would have to bow to him or die, Anakin would have died during child birth, Yoda would be his hand puppet, and George Lucas would have 4 broken fingers so he couldn't make Episodes 1, 2, and 3.



Current Joke Rating: 2.73

Kevin Bacon always makes sure to stay at least 7 steps away from Jake Bauer.