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Top 5 Best Dick Cheney Jokes

Top 5 Best Dick Cheney Jokes according to the votes of our surfers.
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Current Rating: 3.24

"Cheney now says he can't blame the shooting on the guy who got shot. He said we tried that for three days. It didn't work." -- Jay Leno

Current Rating: 3.23

"They were in a car, they drive along, they get out of the car, he shoots his friend in the face, then they get back in the car and they go hide for 18 hours. That's not hunting... that's an episode of 'The Sopranos'" -- Jay Leno

Current Rating: 3.2

Top Ten Thoughts Going Through Dick Cheney's Mind At This Moment

10. "What should I do next--the phony chuckle or the unconvincing smile?"

9. "Hopefully he won't mention--Halibur--oh crap."

8. "W. better be tivoing 'The Gilmore Girls'."

7. "Where's the girl with my Jack and Coke?"

6. "To get the female vote maybe it's time to rip off the shirt and show some abs."

5. "Good God it's true--Edwards is devastatingly handsome."

4. "How the hell did the Yankees get shut out by the Twins?"

3. "I can snap this man's neck like a twig."

2. "That was the cue to bring out Osama! Where the hell is he?"

1. "Let's quit the cat and mouse crap and take this out to the parking lot."

Current Rating: 3.19

Q: Why did Dick Cheney go to the doctor?

A: To replace his ball bearings.

Current Rating: 3.19

"He sat down for a one-on-one with Fox News. Very bold choice. Dick Cheney sitting down with Fox News is like Mrs. Butterworth sitting down with the Pancake Channel." -- Jimmy Kimmel