Top 5 Best Lawyer Jokes
Here are the current Top 5 Best Lawyer Jokes based on YOUR votes.
If you don't agree with these votes, then be sure to rate as many of our Random Lawyer Jokes as you want. Check our all of our other categories too!
The more you rate, the more input you have on this list!
Return to Best Jokes
Current Rating: 3.77 Two Irishmen after a long night at the pub were walking home. They decided to take a shortcut through the local grave yard.
As they were walking through they were reading the inscriptions on the grave stones. They spied one which read "Here lies an Lawyer and a honest man".
Pat turns to Mike and says "Look at that will ya, two men buried in the same grave!"
Current Rating: 3.6 Two physicians board a flight out of Seattle. One sits in the window seat, the other in the middle seat. Just before take-off, an attorney sits in the seat by the aisle. The lawyer kicks off his shoes, wiggle his toes, and starts to settle in, when the physician in the window seat says, "I think I'll get up and get a coke."
"No problem," says the attorney, "I'm by the aisle. I'll get it for you."
While he's gone, one of the physicians picks up the attorney's shoe and spits in it. When he returns with the coke, the other physician says, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."
Again, the attorney obligingly fetches the drink. While he's gone, the other physician picks up the other shoe and spits in it.
The lawyer comes back and they all sit back and enjoy the flight. As the plane is landing, however, the attorney slips his feet into his shoes and realizes immediately what has happened.
"How long must this go on?" he asks the physicians. "This fighting between our professions? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?"
Current Rating: 3.59 Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious-looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on.
The second lawyer looked at him and said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!"
"I don't have to," the first lawyer replied. "I only have to outrun you."
Current Rating: 3.57 A young boy asked is father, "Dad, do lawyers ever tell the truth?"
The father thought for a moment, "Yes son, sometimes a lawyer will do anything to win a case!"
Current Rating: 3.52 The New York Times, among other papers, recently published a new Hubble Space Telescope photograph of distant galaxies colliding.
Of course, astronomers have had pictures of colliding galaxies for quite some time now, but with the vastly improved resolution provided by the Hubble, you can actually see the lawyers rushing to the scene.
|
