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Top 5 Best Obama Jokes

Top 5 Best Obama Jokes according to the votes of our surfers.
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Current Rating: 3.22

When former top U.S. military commander in Afghanistan Stanley McChrystal got called into the Oval Office by Barack Obama, he knew things weren't going to go well when the President accused him of not supporting Obama in his political role as President.

"Its not my job to support you as a politician, Mr. President, its my job to support you as Commander-in-Chief," McChrystal replied.

Not satisfied with accepting McChrystal's resignation the President made a cheap parting shot. "I bet when I die you'll be happy to piss on my grave."

The General saluted. "Mr. President, I always told myself after leaving the Army I'd never stand in line again."



Current Rating: 3.15

In an orchestrated event to promote newer, more restrictive gun laws, President Obama addresses an audience of school children at a West Texas elementary school.

He stands silently at the podium and then begins to clap and pause, clap and pause. He does this for a while before speaking.

"Every time I clap my hands, a child somewhere in America dies from gun violence. Even a child should be able to see the solution." President Obama looks expectantly over the audience.

A little boy raises his hand. "Maybe you should stop clapping."



Current Rating: 3.11

A mother asked her little son "What is tomorrow?"...she wanted to show what he had learned in school that day before.

He answered "It's President Day"

She then asked him what does it mean? She was waiting for something profound from the little dude.

He looked up at me and very seriously said... "President's Day is when President Obama steps out of the White House and if he sees his shadow we will have 2 more years of unemployment"



Current Rating: 3.11

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old Texas rancher whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his bid to be our President. The old rancher said, "Well, ya know, Obama is a 'post turtle'."

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was.

The old rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle'."

The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain. "You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there and you just wonder what kind of a dumb ass put him up there!."



Current Rating: 3.08

Flush from their Healthcare plan victory in Congress, the Obama administration is proposing mandatory Federal Auto Insurance.

Like healthcare, the government will fund car insurance for everyone who is unable to afford the increasing premiums by raising taxes on drivers who don't have accidents.