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Top 5 Best Redneck Jokes

Top 5 Best Redneck Jokes according to the votes of our surfers.
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Current Rating: 3.63

Hillbilly Birth...

Deep in the back woods, of Letcher County Kentucky, a hillbilly's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, 'Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing!'

Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. 'Whoa there', said the doctor, 'Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down I think theres another one coming.'

Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. 'Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!' Said the doctor.

Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby 'No, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems theres yet another one coming!' cried the doctor.

The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, 'You reckon it might be the light that's attractin' 'em?'



Current Rating: 3.17

Visitor: Is this a healthy place to live?

Redneck: Yup! When I arrived here I couldn't walk or eat solid food.

Visitor: What was the matter with you?

Redneck: Nuttin'. I was born here.



Current Rating: 3.14

Q: Why do folks in Kentucky go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?

A: 'Cuz 17 and under not admitted.



Current Rating: 3.13

You've joined a redneck HMO if...

-The annual breast exam is conducted at Hooter's.
-Directions to the doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."
-The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
-The only proctologist lists his address as Roto-rooter.
-The Lone Star Bar and Grill is an approved pharmacy.
-Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill.
-Preventive Care Coverage includes 'an apple a day.'
-Your Prozac comes in colors and has little M's on each pill.
-The only 100% covered expense is embalming.
-Your Viagra prescription includes a Popsicle stick and some duct tape.



Current Rating: 3.13

Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.

The passenger, Bubba said, "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it’s a po-lice raodblock! We’re gonna get busted fer drinkin’ these here beer!!"

"Don’t worry Bubba," Earl said. "We’ll just pull over and finish drinkin’ these beers, peel off the label and stick on our foreheads, and throw he bottles under the seat."

"What fer?" asked Bubba.

"Just let me do the talkin", OK?" said Earl.

Well they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat, and each put a label on their forehead.

When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin’?"

No sir, Earl said. "We’re on the patch."