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Top 5 Best Redneck Jokes

Top 5 Best Redneck Jokes according to the votes of our surfers.
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Current Rating: 3.68

Hillbilly Birth...

Deep in the back woods, of Letcher County Kentucky, a hillbilly's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, 'Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing!'

Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. 'Whoa there', said the doctor, 'Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down I think theres another one coming.'

Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. 'Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!' Said the doctor.

Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby 'No, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems theres yet another one coming!' cried the doctor.

The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, 'You reckon it might be the light that's attractin' 'em?'



Current Rating: 3.27

Redneck Word of the Day: Twerk

"Imma have a few beers before I get back twerk"



Current Rating: 3.2

Visitor: Is this a healthy place to live?

Redneck: Yup! When I arrived here I couldn't walk or eat solid food.

Visitor: What was the matter with you?

Redneck: Nuttin'. I was born here.



Current Rating: 3.14

Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.

The passenger, Bubba said, "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it’s a po-lice raodblock! We’re gonna get busted fer drinkin’ these here beer!!"

"Don’t worry Bubba," Earl said. "We’ll just pull over and finish drinkin’ these beers, peel off the label and stick on our foreheads, and throw he bottles under the seat."

"What fer?" asked Bubba.

"Just let me do the talkin", OK?" said Earl.

Well they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat, and each put a label on their forehead.

When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin’?"

No sir, Earl said. "We’re on the patch."



Current Rating: 3.13

A redneck family from the hills was visiting the city and they were in a mall for the first time in their life. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, "Paw, What's 'at?"

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen anything like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button.

The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.

Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his Son, "Boy, go git yo Momma..."