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Top 5 Best Sports Jokes

Top 5 Best Sports Jokes according to the votes of our surfers.
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Current Rating: 3.53

Sarah was reading a newspaper while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."

"Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.

Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"

"Absolutely not," he said.

"How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not."

"Season's more than half over", he said.



Current Rating: 3.19

Alex was a sports fan whose face was always either buried in the sports pages or transfixed by the television screen. One night as he lay in bed next to his wife watching a football game, she got up, walked across the room and unplugged the TV.

"Hey," Alex shouted, "what do you think you are doing?"

"Iím sick of sports, Iím sick of TV," she replied. "You havenít touched me in months. Weíre going to talk about sex right now!"

"OK, OK. So," he asked after a moment, "how often do you think Brett Favre gets laid?"



Current Rating: 3.19

Two boys were playing football in a Washington D.C. park when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, he other boy rips off a plank of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog’s collar & twists, breaking the dog’s neck.

A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.

"Washington Redskin fan saves friend from vicious animal," he starts writing in his notebook.

"But I’m not a Redskins fan," the boy replied.

"Baltimore Ravens fan rescues friend from horrific attack," the reporter starts again.

"I’m not a Ravens fan either," the boy said.

"Then what are you?" the reporter asked.

"I’m a Cowboys fan."

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Redneck bastard kills family pet."



Current Rating: 3.16

On the first day of Spring Training, a baseball scout brings a race horse with him to add to the starting lineup. The coach asks, "What the heck did you bring that horse here for?"

The scout replies, "Wait until you see him bat."

All the players are laughing, until the horse comes to bat. At this point, the horse grabs the bat and everyone quiets down. They stare at the horse.

The pitcher, just shrugs his shoulders, and throws the ball toward home plate, when astonishingly, the horse hits the ball deep into the outfield.

The horse just stands there and does not move. The manager then yells at the baseball scout to tell the horse to run to first base.

The scout looks back at the manager and yells back, "If he could run, he'd be at Belmont!"



Current Rating: 3.15

Steve Davis (former world snooker champ) is practicing in a side room before a big match when this snooker groupie walks in "Oooh" she says "I'm your biggest fan".

After some small talk she finally says "You know I've always fantasized about doing it with you right on a snooker table".

"O.K." says Steve "I'm game".

So she strips off and bends over the table saying "Slip that big long cue of yours right into me". After awhile nothing has happened and she turns around and sees Steve standing behind her with a quizzical look on his face. "What's the matter?" she says.

"Weeell' says Steve "I can't decide whether to go for the pink or the brown".