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Top 5 Best Sports Jokes

Top 5 Best Sports Jokes according to the votes of our surfers.
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Current Rating: 3.57

Sarah was reading a newspaper while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."

"Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.

Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"

"Absolutely not," he said.

"How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not."

"Season's more than half over", he said.



Current Rating: 3.21

Two boys were playing football in a Washington D.C. park when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, he other boy rips off a plank of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog’s collar & twists, breaking the dog’s neck.

A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.

"Washington Redskin fan saves friend from vicious animal," he starts writing in his notebook.

"But I’m not a Redskins fan," the boy replied.

"Baltimore Ravens fan rescues friend from horrific attack," the reporter starts again.

"I’m not a Ravens fan either," the boy said.

"Then what are you?" the reporter asked.

"I’m a Cowboys fan."

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Redneck bastard kills family pet."



Current Rating: 3.17

On the first day of Spring Training, a baseball scout brings a race horse with him to add to the starting lineup. The coach asks, "What the heck did you bring that horse here for?"

The scout replies, "Wait until you see him bat."

All the players are laughing, until the horse comes to bat. At this point, the horse grabs the bat and everyone quiets down. They stare at the horse.

The pitcher, just shrugs his shoulders, and throws the ball toward home plate, when astonishingly, the horse hits the ball deep into the outfield.

The horse just stands there and does not move. The manager then yells at the baseball scout to tell the horse to run to first base.

The scout looks back at the manager and yells back, "If he could run, he'd be at Belmont!"



Current Rating: 3.17

Last Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns and dressed quietly. I made a lunch, grabbed the dog and went to the garage to hook up the boat to the truck and down the driveway I went.

Coming out of the garage rain is pouring down; it is like a torrential downpour. There is snow mixed in with the rain, and the wind is blowing 50 mph.

Minutes later, I returned to the garage. I came back into the house and turned the TV to the weather channel. I find it's going to be bad weather all day long, so I put the boat back in the garage, quietly undressed and slipped back into bed.

There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

To which she sleepily replies,

"Can you believe my stupid husband is out there fishing?"



Current Rating: 3.16

Alex was a sports fan whose face was always either buried in the sports pages or transfixed by the television screen. One night as he lay in bed next to his wife watching a football game, she got up, walked across the room and unplugged the TV.

"Hey," Alex shouted, "what do you think you are doing?"

"Iím sick of sports, Iím sick of TV," she replied. "You havenít touched me in months. Weíre going to talk about sex right now!"

"OK, OK. So," he asked after a moment, "how often do you think Brett Favre gets laid?"