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Top 5 Best Sports Jokes

Top 5 Best Sports Jokes according to the votes of our surfers.
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Current Rating: 3.44

Sarah was reading a newspaper while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."

"Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.

Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"

"Absolutely not," he said.

"How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not."

"Season's more than half over", he said.



Current Rating: 3.19

Two boys were playing football in a Washington D.C. park when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, he other boy rips off a plank of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog’s collar & twists, breaking the dog’s neck.

A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.

"Washington Redskin fan saves friend from vicious animal," he starts writing in his notebook.

"But I’m not a Redskins fan," the boy replied.

"Baltimore Ravens fan rescues friend from horrific attack," the reporter starts again.

"I’m not a Ravens fan either," the boy said.

"Then what are you?" the reporter asked.

"I’m a Cowboys fan."

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Redneck bastard kills family pet."



Current Rating: 3.14

Standing on the sidelines during a football game at my son's high school, I saw one of the players take a hard hit. He tumbled to the ground and didn't move. We grabbed our first-aid gear and rushed out onto the field.

The coach picked up the young man's hand and urged, "Son, can you hear me? Squeeze once for yes and twice for no."



Current Rating: 3.13

Three Texans, Slim, Billy-Bob, and Bubba died and went to heaven. At the pearly gates, they were met by St. Peter, who explained that although it was late and God had retired for the evening, he had asked Albert Einstein to show them around so they wouldn’t get bored before they met God in the morning.

After Einstein had introduced himself to Slim, he asked: "By the way, Slim, what was your IQ when you were alive?"

"159", said Slim.

"Great!", said Einstein. We’ll discuss my general theory of relativity and maybe a little unified field theory as I show you around."

"What an exciting opportunity!", said Slim.

Einstein then introduced himself to Billy-Bob, and when he was done he said: "Tell me, Billy-Bob - what was your IQ when you were alive?"

"141", said Billy-Bob.

"Good," said Einstein. "If you’d like, we can discuss a little mathematics and philosophy as I point out the heavenly sights."

"Nothing I’d like better!" was Billy-Bob’s reply.

After Einstein had introduced himself to Bubba, he asked: "What was your IQ when you were alive, Bubba?".

"58" said Bubba.

Punching him on the arm, Einstein said: "Hey, Bubba - How ’bout them Cowboys!"



Current Rating: 3.13

On the first day of Spring Training, a baseball scout brings a race horse with him to add to the starting lineup. The coach asks, "What the heck did you bring that horse here for?"

The scout replies, "Wait until you see him bat."

All the players are laughing, until the horse comes to bat. At this point, the horse grabs the bat and everyone quiets down. They stare at the horse.

The pitcher, just shrugs his shoulders, and throws the ball toward home plate, when astonishingly, the horse hits the ball deep into the outfield.

The horse just stands there and does not move. The manager then yells at the baseball scout to tell the horse to run to first base.

The scout looks back at the manager and yells back, "If he could run, he'd be at Belmont!"