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"As Cheney told CNN, he has been 100 percent heart attack free since ascending to the vice presidency. He added, 'In fact, rather than giving me stress, being vice president has actually fueled my blackened soul, allowing me to gorge vampire --like on the bloody nectar of unlimited power.' I'm sorry that should have read 'I never felt better.'" -- Jon Stewart, on Dick Cheney's insistence that he is the picture of health

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