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A train hits a bus load of Essex girls and sadly they all die. They are all in heaven trying to get past St Peter to the pearly gates.

St Peter asks the first girl (from Southend) "Sharon, have you ever had any contact with a mans thing?"

She giggles shyly and replies, "Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger"

St Peter says, "Ok, dip the tip of that finger into the holy water and you may pass through the gates,"

St Peter asks the next girl (from Romford), "Tracey, have you ever had any contact with a mans thing?"

She reluctantly replies "Well I once held one in the palm of my hand"

St Peter says "Ok, dip that entire hand in the holy water and pass through the gates".

All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, and Donna from Chigwell is pushing her way to the front, St Peter says "My girl what seems to be the rush?"

Donna replies "If I've got to gargle that holy water I wanna do it before Lorraine sticks her arse in it!!"

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