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What men say, and what they mean....

1. "I'm going fishing"
- Means... "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety"

2. "It's a guy thing"
- Means... "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".

3. "Can I help with dinner?"
- Means... "Why isn't dinner already on the table?"

4. 'Uh huh", "Sure honey," or "Yes dear"
- Means... Absolutely nothing; it is a conditioned response.

5. "It would take too long to explain"
- Means... "I have no idea how it works".

6. "We're going to be late"
- Means... "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac".

7. "I was listening to you. It's just that I have things on my mind"
- Means... "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra".

8. "Take a break honey, you're working too hard"
- Means... "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner".

9. "That's interesting dear"
- Means... "Are you still talking?"

10. "It's a really good movie"
- Means... "It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and beautiful women".

11. "That's women's work"
- Means... "It's difficult, dirty, and thankless".

12. "You know how bad my memory is"
- Means... "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday".

13. "I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses"
- Means... "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe".

14. "Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal"
- Means... "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt".

16. "Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing"
- Means... "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon".

17. "I can't find it"
- Means... "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless".

18. "What did I do this time?"
- Means... "What did you catch me at?"

19. "I heard you"
- Means... "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

20. "You know I could never love anyone else"
- Means... "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse".

21. "You look terrific"
- Means... "Oh God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving!"

22. "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are"
- Means... "No one will ever see us alive again".

23. "We share the housework"
- Means... "I make the messes, she cleans them up".

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