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20 Useful Expressions for High Stress Days

1. Well, aren't we just a fucking ray of sunshine?
2. Not the brightest crayon in the box, are we?
3. A hard-on does NOT count as personal growth.
4. Do I look like a fucking people person?
5. This isn't an office, it's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
6. If I wanted to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on the cat.
7. The aliens obviously forgot to remove your anal probe.
8. Let me show you how the prison guards do it.
9. And your cry-baby, whiny-assed opinion would be...?
10. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
11. Whatever look you were trying to achieve, you missed.
12. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
13. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
14. I can't remember if I'm the evil or good twin.
15. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
16. You say I'm a bitch like it was a bad thing.
17. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?
18. Nice perfume, but must you marinate in it?
19. You look like shit, so is that the style now?
20. Aw, did I step on your poor, little-bitty ego?

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