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Dirty Joke of the Day

How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity!

At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.'

Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."

Don't use any punctuation.

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

Sing along at the opera.

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of the opposite gender.

Send email to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, in stall 3."

Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies.

Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

Every time you see a broom yell, "Honey, your mother is here!"


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