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30 Random Anti-Chuck Norris Jokes

Here are 30 Random Anti-Chuck Norris Jokes.
You can also see the Top 30 Anti-Chuck Norris Jokes as rated by our users. Would you please rate some of our Random Anti-Chuck Norris Jokes?

Current Joke Rating: 2.83

Chuck Norris goes to bars and slips roofies into his own dirty martinis in hopes of getting picked up.

Current Joke Rating: 2.98

Chuck Norris has 11 scrapbooks full of "Love Is" cartoons.

Current Joke Rating: 2.85

Chuck Norris is the only person whom the Axe Effect Deodorant Spray will not work on.

Current Joke Rating: 2.81

Chuck Norris gives better rimjobs than West Coast Customs.

Current Joke Rating: 3.14

Chuck Norris was once invited back to his high school to speak at a graduation. Upon his arrival, Screech, Slater, Kelly, Lisa, and Jesse said, "That's not Zack Morris, that's Chuck Norris!" Mr. Belding broke the bad news to the class that Zack would not be attending the graduation, then delivered a roundhouse kick to Chuck Norris and sent him to detention.

Current Joke Rating: 2.86

Jesus willfully crucified himself because he had insider information that Chuck Norris was going to be around in the future. Jesus did this not in fear of Chuck Norris himself, but in fear of Chuck Norris' acting.

Current Joke Rating: 2.89

Chuck Norris once tried to enter an Ugly Contest and was told, "Sorry, no professionals."

Current Joke Rating: 2.91

Chuck Norris has a summer home on "Brokeback Mountain."

Current Joke Rating: 2.8

When they asked Chuck Norris to be in Brokeback Mountain 2 he simply said "How many sex scenes?"

Current Joke Rating: 2.79

Brad Pitt adopted one of Chuck Norris' children, and Chuck Norris still won't marry him.

Current Joke Rating: 2.76

In preparation for his future role as a gay cowboy, a young Jake Gyllenhaal spent a year as Chuck Norris' understudy on the set of "Walker, Texas Ranger."

Current Joke Rating: 2.86

Chuck Norris tried to round-house kick me in the face once, but he's really old, so I moved out of the way and he fell to the ground and just kind of laid there.

Current Joke Rating: 2.92

Chuck Norris cannot have hemorroids. Because he is a perfect asshole.

Current Joke Rating: 2.9

Chuck Norris' inflamed prostate is the size of a watermelon, and produces really gross shit that has no use in any way in modern society.

Current Joke Rating: 2.87

Despite Chuck Norris' colored sidekick on "Walker, Texas Ranger," he is an adamant racist.

Current Joke Rating: 2.65

Chuck Norris' iPod has "Princess" written in Swarofsky crystals on it.

Current Joke Rating: 2.74

No matter how many fortune cookies Chuck Norris opens, they always say "Fight like a girl."

Current Joke Rating: 2.58

Chuck Norris hasn't completed a full roundhouse kick since 1998, when he tore his sack during a taping of "Walker, Texas Ranger."

Current Joke Rating: 2.66

Chuck Norris can suck the AIDS virus right out of a grown man's cock, then spit it into a bottle for research.

Current Joke Rating: 2.97

Chuck Norris has the ultimate World of Warcraft character! But he joins parties and leaves halfway through and always causes guild drama.

Current Joke Rating: 3.03

Chuck Norris listens to Fall Out Boy and cries.

Current Joke Rating: 2.92

Chuck Norris is so gay he is Coldplays groupy

Current Joke Rating: 2.85

The Black Plague was caused by the fleas from Chuck Norris' beard

Current Joke Rating: 2.7

Chuck Norris was once spit on by a camel. Chuck Norris then broke out in anger, singing "My Humps" at the top of his lungs to regain his dignity.

Current Joke Rating: 2.94

Chuck Norris masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris. Too bad Chuck Norris is a guy.

Current Joke Rating: 2.81

Chuck Norris quit his job working on Sesame Street after just 4 hours, claiming he was tired of "the intimidation, harassment and bullying."

Current Joke Rating: 2.93

Chuck Norris gets carded for PG-13 movies, including his own.

Current Joke Rating: 3.22

Chuck Norris uses live rattlesnakes as condoms. Tiny, baby rattlesnakes.

Current Joke Rating: 3

Stephen Hawking once beat Chuck Norris in a foot race.

Current Joke Rating: 2.62

In the year 1248, enraged villagers broke into Chuck Norris' castle with the intention of burning him at the stake. Chuck started crying like a little girl and the mob, feeling increasingly awkward, dispersed and agreed amongst themselves to never mention the incident again.