Home Random Jokes Submit Jokes Jokes by Email Webmasters

30 Random Anti-Chuck Norris Jokes

Here are 30 Random Anti-Chuck Norris Jokes.
You can also see the Top 30 Anti-Chuck Norris Jokes as rated by our users. Would you please rate some of our Random Anti-Chuck Norris Jokes?

Current Joke Rating: 2.61

Chuck Norris' adult diaper is made to withhold 2,000 lbs of pressure per square inch. It breaks on a regular basis.

Current Joke Rating: 2.76

Chuck Norris started the "Chuck Norris Facts" in hopes of finding a new love. Upon finding out the majority of fans using the facts were guys, Chuck Norris wept with joy.

Current Joke Rating: 2.71

Upon hitting puberty, Chuck Norris had a zit on his ass the size of a cantaloupe.

Current Joke Rating: 2.83

Chuck Norris once ate a dog because he couldn't find the can opener in his new cabinets.

Current Joke Rating: 3.01

Chuck Norris is wanted for raping 10 different men during last year's Carnival celebration in Brazil. The United States has refused the Brazilian extradition request.

Current Joke Rating: 2.66

Chuck Norris is an avid reader. He proudly owns all first edition copies of "The Babysitters Club."

Current Joke Rating: 2.74

Chuck Norris quit his job working on Sesame Street after just 4 hours, claiming he was tired of "the intimidation, harassment and bullying."

Current Joke Rating: 2.6

Chuck Norris once got an erection. Nobody noticed.

Current Joke Rating: 2.64

Chuck Norris likes to take bubble baths with scented candles.

Current Joke Rating: 2.87

Chuck Norris's favorite Mario Kart character is Princess Peach. Princess Peach's favorite "Walker, Texas Ranger" character is Jimmy Trivette.

Current Joke Rating: 2.71

Chuck Norris once painted a portrait of himself. He only used 3 colors. Nobody said anything.

Current Joke Rating: 2.47

Chuck Norris' iPod has "Princess" written in Swarofsky crystals on it.

Current Joke Rating: 2.52

Chuck Norris, realizing he his career is going down the tube, drowns himself in a gallon of ice cream which is promptly melted by his warm, salty tears.

Current Joke Rating: 2.61

Chuck Norris is credited with the invention of bottled water.

Current Joke Rating: 2.89

Chuck Norris didn't go to college, but his mom went to college!

Current Joke Rating: 2.78

Chuck Norris once ordered a Big Mac from Burger King, and got one, because no one wanted to hear him pout about it again.

Current Joke Rating: 2.66

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Current Joke Rating: 2.63

Chuck Norris came up with the idea for his look after many years studying the Brawny paper towel man.

Current Joke Rating: 2.51

Chuck Norris wears biker shorts under his kilt.

Current Joke Rating: 2.87

Many stuntmen who have worked with Chuck Norris complain on set that Chuck Norris makes far too many so-called jokes about "exchanging blows."

Current Joke Rating: 2.61

Chuck Norris was once a female East German shot-putter named Berta Schultz. She was laughed off the team for throwing like a girl. Several operations later, Berta became Chuck. S/he lives with that shame every day.

Current Joke Rating: 2.82

Chuck Norris once got a splinter and was rushed immediately to the ER, screaming "I'm too young to die!" the whole way.

Current Joke Rating: 2.75

Chuck Norris once took a bite out of a Boy George vinyl and swallowed it.

Current Joke Rating: 2.77

Chuck Norris' inflamed prostate is the size of a watermelon, and produces really gross shit that has no use in any way in modern society.

Current Joke Rating: 2.69

No matter how many fortune cookies Chuck Norris opens, they always say "Fight like a girl."

Current Joke Rating: 2.68

Chuck Norris gave a thumbs up on "Dodgeball" because he thought William Shatner was asking him out.

Current Joke Rating: 2.73

Chuck Norris once burned his lips on the tailpipe of a car while trying to blow it up for a movie.

Current Joke Rating: 3.1

Chuck Norris was once invited back to his high school to speak at a graduation. Upon his arrival, Screech, Slater, Kelly, Lisa, and Jesse said, "That's not Zack Morris, that's Chuck Norris!" Mr. Belding broke the bad news to the class that Zack would not be attending the graduation, then delivered a roundhouse kick to Chuck Norris and sent him to detention.

Current Joke Rating: 2.71

Chuck Norris scored an 8 on the "Are you a good boyfriend" quiz in Cosmo.

Current Joke Rating: 2.79

The morning after sex with his girlfriend, Chuck Norris likes to greet her with breakfast in bed.