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30 Random Anti-Chuck Norris Jokes

Here are 30 Random Anti-Chuck Norris Jokes.
You can also see the Top 30 Anti-Chuck Norris Jokes as rated by our users. Would you please rate some of our Random Anti-Chuck Norris Jokes?

Current Joke Rating: 2.52

Chuck Norris' catheter bag exploded and flooded one-third of the United States killing millions.

Current Joke Rating: 2.8

Every time Chuck Norris performs a roundhouse kick, he pops two hemorrhoids.

Current Joke Rating: 2.96

Chuck Norris fears the Mach 4 razor. He wishes it had softer and fewer blades.

Current Joke Rating: 2.77

Chuck Norris was in fact in a television show called "Walker, Texas Ranger."

Current Joke Rating: 2.56

Chuck Norris' iPod has "Princess" written in Swarofsky crystals on it.

Current Joke Rating: 2.85

Although he has the power to eliminate them, Chuck Norris allows emos to exist. Jesus rolls his eyes at this gesture every time.

Current Joke Rating: 2.87

Chuck Norris paid for a beer in a dirty glass with money out of his coin purse.

Current Joke Rating: 2.72

Chuck Norris came up with the idea for his look after many years studying the Brawny paper towel man.

Current Joke Rating: 2.88

Chuck Norris once tried to enter an Ugly Contest and was told, "Sorry, no professionals."

Current Joke Rating: 2.8

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man it is not because he has run out of women. It is because he was born that way. It wasn't his choice.

Current Joke Rating: 2.81

Chuck Norris raped my dog. And then my youth. And then my dog again.

Current Joke Rating: 2.7

A Chinaman once told Chuck Norris that his penis was too small during a karate tournament. A CHINAMAN.

Current Joke Rating: 2.45

Chuck Norris orders the "side salad with low-fat dressing" at a BBQ joint.

Current Joke Rating: 2.6

Chuck Norris's penis has master envy.

Current Joke Rating: 2.91

Jack Bauer was overheard saying to Chuck Norris, "Let's get this straight: the only reason you're still conscious is because I don't wanna carry you."

Current Joke Rating: 2.99

Chuck Norris listens to Fall Out Boy and cries.

Current Joke Rating: 2.78

Chuck Norris sits down to pee.

Current Joke Rating: 2.73

Chuck Norris tried to copyright the copyright symbol. It was the first time the employees at the United States Patent and Trademark Office have ever laughed.

Current Joke Rating: 3.01

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He passes out after two wine coolers.

Current Joke Rating: 2.96

Richard Simmons once told Chuck Norris to quit acting like such a fag.

Current Joke Rating: 3.08

Chuck Norris has a signed poster of Vin Diesel directly above his bed. Sadly, Chuck Norris does not realize that the signature is a mass-produced mechanical replica.

Current Joke Rating: 2.98

The morning after sex with his girlfriend, Chuck Norris likes to greet her with breakfast in bed.

Current Joke Rating: 2.89

Chuck Norris scored an 8 on the "Are you a good boyfriend" quiz in Cosmo.

Current Joke Rating: 2.68

Chuck Norris once got an erection. Nobody noticed.

Current Joke Rating: 2.84

Chuck Norris' vagina is so wide that his thighs don't touch even when his legs are crossed.

Current Joke Rating: 2.83

During World War II Chuck Norris once tried killing a Nazi soldier by pointing his finger at him and yelling "Bang!"

Current Joke Rating: 3.05

Chuck Norris lives on an island surrounded by a sea of his own tears.

Current Joke Rating: 2.7

Chuck Norris adopted a young black child so he could test out his racist jokes first.

Current Joke Rating: 2.79

Chuck Norris once burned his lips on the tailpipe of a car while trying to blow it up for a movie.

Current Joke Rating: 2.56

Chuck Norris has been shot by Chuck Bronson twelve times.