Friday, December 11, 2009

Pregnancy 101: Getting Weighed Down

Do you remember this post about weight?  Did you read the post written by my friends Michelle and Lori?  If you didn't you should.  It was a good series and it was nice to read about other women's struggle with weight.  A few days ago I read another post that really touched me and brought it all to the forefront again.  Jenna over at That Wife is also pregnant with her first child.  She is a few months behind me but she wrote a blogpost the other day about pregnancy and weight gain that really hit me. 
15 weeks
I've shared with you before that I struggle with my weight.  I am, by no means, someone that will ever be 110 pounds or a size 6.  For me weight is a daily struggle.  Something that if I want to maintain a certain weight I have to be on top of it daily.  There is no break or down time.  Before I got pregnant I was attempting to not only drops some pounds but also change my body image and self-esteem about the whole issue.  I don't WANT to be someone that obsesses about it.  I don't want to spend my days counting calories and pounds.  I want to be healthy and I want to be proud of who I am no matter what my body looks like.
16 weeks
Before I got pregnant I had lost a little over 20 pounds of the course of quite a few months.  I was working on changing my attitude towards food and allowing myself to still enjoy food but within moderation.  When May hit and I got pregnant I wanted very much to not just throw caution to the wind and eat all the crap in the world because I'm now "eating for two (HELLO MYTH WE TELL OURSELVES TO EAT MORE!)".  The first trimester was not super easy.  I wasn't sick but I figured out quickly that if I didn't constantly keep my stomach full I would feel sick.  So I did.  Kept my stomach full and the pounds started coming back.  Second trimester was actually easier.  I gained less in those three months then I had in the three previous.  So I was feeling pretty good about that.  But now the weight is really coming on.  And coming on strong.  And two weeks ago I found my first stretch marks.  I am not kidding you when I say that as soon as I saw them I walked away from the mirror because I was ready to cry.  Personally I think making it to seven months without stretch marks is pretty good but now they are there and they are also coming on with a vengeance.  And every time I see them I cringe and quickly cover my belly. 
20 weeks
I know people say that this is not the time for me to worry about my weight.  That I'm supposed to gain weight, blah, blah, blah.  And I do get that.  But I don't want to be on the other side of this and have 100 pounds to lose (of course I exaggerate.  Lord help me if I did!).  Being a first time mom I can only IMAGINE the insecurities I will be facing at the time.  Am I doing this right?  Am I going to break him?  Will I be a good mom?  I don't want this to be one more insecurity piled on.  I do try to be aware of what I am eating and making good choices.  If I'm hungry during the day I try to reach for a piece of fruit over candy.  I'm not eating out anymore now that I'm not working but when I was I still tried to make good choices.  Sandwich vs. a hamburger.  At night the chocolate monster hits though and I have to have just a little bit.  Plus, I feel a bit doomed because all the women in my family get HUGE with pregnancy.  And I don't just mean fat.  I mean belly for days.  My teeny-tiny sister was a walking belly.  In reality I have gained most of it there.  I can still pull on my pants I used to wear and they fit everywhere but the belly.  I can pull my shirts on but nothing is buttoning across my, ahem, chest (HOLY cow people.  That's what I feel like.).  So I try to focus on that and think that maybe it isn't so bad.  But the fact of the matter is there is excess weight and Jackson isn't taking it all when he vacates the premises. 
31 weeks
This is not what I want to be focused on right now.  What I want to be focused on is this little guy that plays soccer for hours on end in my belly.  I want to be focused on preparing myself and my life and my house for this newest addition.  So how do I handle it?  How did you handle it?  Did you through caution to the wind and say "I'll deal with it then"?  Or did you deal with it daily? 


Anonymous said...

Bree, just chill!

I gained 40 pounds with Jessica and 45 pounds with Jenna. It took me a couple of years to lose the weight after Jessica and much quicker after Jenna.

Don't stress about the weight. In time, over the course of just living life, you will go back to your healthy habits and mindset about your body, and, THEN, the weight will come off.

Enjoy this time, enjoy Jackson, enjoy the weight! Hey, it's not like every day you're birthin' a baby!

Phooeee on the weight! Worry about it later.

That's my two cents!

Sherrie said...

Bree... You may only be pregnant once. Enjoy it. As Jack is growing I happen to think that you are getting more beautiful. Your body IS going to change, that's part of being the only one who carries your amazing child. Dont worry about anything right now. You are going to be so busy when Jack appears that the pounds will come off. I promise. PLUS... I am going to need a partner to help me stay healthy. We can do it together :-)

Anonymous said...

Bree, Amen to Mrs. Manley's comment - gianed over 35lbs with Ian! But lost it all but then found a bunch of it! When I returned to my normal healthy choices lost it again! Stretch marks happen...sometimes at the begining! Sometimes later on! If you got them they are a sign of motherhood. ! Take care of you and Jackson that is the most important!

thecheckoutgirl said...

Darling girl, I am not sure how you plan to feed your baby, but breastfeeding burns TONS of calories. Even if you bottlefeed, that baby is going to keep you busy and active. Trust.

However, I'm not being blasé about your concerns. I have an eating disorder and nearly lost my mind while I was pregnant. Just try to love yourself. Your body is MAKING ANOTHER PERSON right now. How amazing is that?


Girly Muse said...

I gained about 60 with Greyley...and I'm not even sure how much I gained with Indigo, but I was B-I-G. But I just kind of knew I'd have to deal with it later...there's not much you can really do while you're pregnant to quench the cravings, I just went with it and tried to enjoy it.

As far as the stretch marks...I'm sorry. That's rough. I still cringe when I see mine, but know that they're sort of like my badges of honor...and even though I don't like them, I survived. I gave birth. And that's worth a whole lot.

I have had friends who gain 100. And they managed to eventually work it off. It's hard work, but you already know it's hard you can do it, just like you were before you were pregnant.

I think your belly is fabulous. If you were in front of me, I'd have a hard time not patting it!!! :) You're beautiful.

Michelle, Queen of Everything said...

Love your Buddha belly in the last pic! Like Lori, I'd want to rub it if I was there!

I stressed about weight the whole time I was pregnant with Ty, which was stupid, because I was so young and thin. I gained about 35 pounds and lost it QUICK.

But being pregnant almost 10 years later was way different. I gained 15 pounds the first month, I think! Because I was such an obsessive dieter, I took it as an excuse to finally stop thinking about my weight 24/7. I gained 50 pounds by the time I had Chloe.

I really struggled with my self-image after she was born and I was the biggest I'd ever been. But looking back, I wished I could have just relaxed. Because I did lost most of the weight before she was a year old. And no, I never did get back down to my pre-pregnancy weight, but who cares? I have an amazing daughter and it was worth the extra few pounds.

The stretch marks are tough, I agree with you there. But they will slowly fade with time. They won't disappear, but they'll improve, and I PROMISE there will come a time when they won't really bug you. I am one of the vainest people on the planet and even I don't care about my jelly belly anymore.

I can't wait to see you next month...I AM going to rub that belly, so get ready!

Love you, girl. You will come out of this strong and beautiful, as you've always been. And you'll have yourself a nice little prize, too, in Mr. Jackson.

bekah said...

hmmmm well. look adorable, i have to get that out there.

I struggle with my weight/body image as well. I was officially diagnosed as anorexic 4 years before i got pregnant. while i may have a more healthy body image now than i did was HARD for me to look in the mirror or step on the scale while i was pregnant. i thought for sure i would hate my post-pregnancy body. but finding myself more proud than ever of my incredible, albeit imperfect, body. This body brought Jack into the world. Do I like my stretch marks? no. is a bikini in my near future? heck no! but i find that i rarely even think about the wat my post-partum body looks. I feel good, better than i did when i weighed 98 lbs for sure!

I dealt with it daily. I definitely did not diet, but I did try to make at least SOME healthy decisions. Chocolate pudding helped me! I freeze it...that way I kind of got to have chocolate ice cream...without all the fat. I dont like fat free ice cream...never that was my chocolate fix.

I appreciate your honesty...and I can relate. Pregnancy is hard...mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Andrea said...

i have had 4 babys, 1st i gained 60 lbs, 2nd 30 lbs, 3rd 30, and last 40. i know you are scared how much you may gain once are about to give birth, so was i at first. but every time after your body heals and you proceed with regular life it will come off. i am not a go getter when it comes to loosing weight, but even with the my last baby who us now 18 months i am still loosing weight, but it takes time. enjoy yourself and your pretty belly, i miss mine so very much. and as far as strech marks i have tons, but oh well(they do fade with time, i promise), look what i have, 4 healthy children. i would take those nasty marks anyday.