Thursday, August 28, 2008


Tomorrow's the big day! Moving time! It seems like I have been packing our house for a month. Oh, wait. I have. AND IT'S STILL NOT DONE. I'm so over it.

I'm sitting at my parents house right now, waiting for my sister to come pick me up and take me to the train station so that I can go back to the 'Mont and finish packing. On my drive up here it really hit me. I'm moving back home. And I'm not sure how I feel about it.

Actually that's not true. I'm excited to start my new job (YEA! I didn't tell you about that yet! But I will!). I'm excited to start this new chapter with my hubby. But there are a few things still floating around in the air that have to be resolved. Oh and WE ARE MOVING IN WITH MY PARENTAL UNIT.

I love my parents. I do. They are wonderful, giving people. But I grew up with them my whole life and I know how to deal with them. I know how my dad likes things and I know how easily my mom's feelings get hurt. I KNOW these things. My husband? He does not. My husband is a wonderful man, that loves me bunches but he did not grow up like I did. He basically raised himself (I know! SAD.). Things that my family takes for granted as "normal" he never has been around.

I know my parents love him. I know they are happy to have him as a son-in-love. I know they respect him. And I know they want to help us. They wouldn't have offered if they didn't. But I want my parents to have the type of relationship with my hubby that they have with my brother-in-love. Of course, my BIL has been around since he was about 13 so there is a difference. I just don't want there to be any damage to any relationships out of this. I want us to come out on the other side of this experience loving each other all the more fiercely.

Oh and we are B-R-O-K-E. But who isn't these days right? But I'm such a Type A, control-freak that the thought of how broke we are makes me grind my teeth to powder (another lovely habit of the Type A Control Freak who has just a FEW things that aren't in her control right now). I know that once I get working and get a few paychecks it should all even out but SERIOUSLY? Right now? YIKES.

Okay, enough complaining. Bright side, shall we? We are going to be with the people we love most, a roof over our head, food in our belly and a bed to sleep on. We have jobs and friends and high-maintenance dog. We are going to be FINE. Fine I tell you. Right?

Monday, August 25, 2008


Today is my 32nd birthday. I love my 30's. My 20's sucked so much. Especially the tail end. Just awful. Never was there a happier woman than me when I turned 30. And it's only gotten better. I got engaged when I was 30. Married when I was 31 and celebrated my first married birthday today. My husband was quite wonderful and took me to eat sushi and see a movie (Dark Knight, which by the way is WAY cool.) He even bought me an appropriately mushy card and gave me a gift card to Barnes & Noble (what can I say? The man knows the way to my heart!). All day long I've been thinking about my life and my loves and all that makes me happy. There are so many things that I have to be grateful for and so for my birthday here is my list of my favorite 32 things. In no particular order. Just how I thought of them throughout the day.

1. My hubby. And not just because he's my hubby and I should say that. He is handsome and kind and my superhero. (I know, I know. It's disgusting isn't it?)
2. My nieces. There isn't a day that those little faces don't bring a smile to my face. They are so funny and so smart.
3. My family. We are a weird bunch. We drive each other crazy. We are loud. We can be obnoxious. Sometimes we put each other down. But most of the time we hold each other up.
4. Being put in my place when I need it. You know when you get to that place where you are feeling pretty darn good about how freaking smart you are? And then BAM. Right upside the head to show that no, you are not as cool as you think. Sometimes I need that.
5. Change. It's not always fun. It's not always perfect timing. But sometimes it just is. And without it life gets rather stagnant.
6. Photographs. I always have a camera with me. I love capturing that moment that I want to hold forever and knowing that I will have it there always.
7. My sister. There was a time we were barely friends and now we are the best of them. You are my confidant, my sounding board, my partner in crime.
8. Silvia. My oldest friend and my most loyal one. You are beautiful inside and out and the joy and love that comes from you amazes me at times. You are gem and I would be lost without you.
9. The pooch. Ah, Georgia. You drive me crazy sometimes but there were times when you were the only one curled up with my while I cried. I love your furry little face.
10. Good wine. Seriously. Need I say more?
11. Books, books, books. Yes, I know I'm a little crazy with the books. But I'm getting better. My books were my closest friends and my hiding place for so long. I am rediscovering my relationship with my books. I still love them but maybe not quite so obsessively.
12. Sewing. I am learning to be creative in a way I NEVER thought I would! And I'm loving it!
13. Carol. I love our shopping, our fashion critiques and our shared love for all things make up and accessories. I have so enjoyed getting to know you better over the last couple of years. I'll miss you.
14. SCP. I learned a lot there. I didn't know I would be leaving there so soon. But I'm grateful for the time I had there and the people I met and the things I learned.
15. Sushi. Or in the words of Sami "SHUSHI!" Yum, yum, yum.
16. Sherrie. I know it hasn't always been easy letting go of your brother. And making room for me. But you have done it with lots of love and I love you for that.
17. Shari. SHUT UP. Thank you for loving books as much as I do. Thank you for making me laugh when I need to and being brutally honest when I need that. Thanks for being Ferrita.
18. Leigh. It always surprises me and warms my heart when I see your number on my phone any day but especially on your birthday. You are always one of the first one's to call and I don't think you have forgotten since you first got a cell phone! Love you Stinky.
19. Cupcakes. Is it ridiculous that I have food on this list? I don't think so. I heart cupcakes.
20. Law & Order. I can watch every single version of this show. It drives my dad crazy but I just love it.
21. Dad. You came along, you took us on. You never even blinked. You have been there for me always. You always treated me like an adult and made feel as if the WORLD wasn't big enough ME, not the other way around. I would not be who I am if it wasn't for you.
22. Mom. The rock. But not in that cold way. You sacrificed so much for us. You gave to us and most of the time barely remembered yourself. You made every birthday a big deal and every holiday an event. You pushed me to be better, stronger, more independent. And I am all of those things because I always knew (and still do know) that fail or succeed, you were always there.
23. Health. We have some scares in my family in the last 5 years. Some close calls. Some that resulted in losing those we loved. I am grateful for everyday we have and every moment we can treasure.
24. I love to nap. It's a skill that I have learned from my hubby. He is the king of nappers and I was such a novice until we got married. But he learned me real good.
25. The wind. Windchimes. The way it knots up my hair. Makes my house smell so fresh.
26. A good pedicure. Nothing like sitting there in a massage chair thumps at my back and somebody scrubs at my feet. Ah, bliss.
27. Roomie. I'm glad we are back to being friends the way we are NOW. I'm glad we will be closer. You were there during some dark moments and I will always be grateful for that.
28. Learning to cook. I never thought I would domesticated. But I find I love it. There is something about making food with your hands and watching your hubby chow down on it like it is his last meal. Makes me feel good.
29. Music. I can hear a song and it will bring me right back to the moment, who I was with and what I was feeling. There is truly a soundtrack to my life and wouldn't want to live my life any other way.
30. Grace. I'm not always deserving. Quite often I'm not in fact. But somehow I am always offered it. I know I'm not worthy but I am grateful for it.
31. Faith. It's always there when I need it. And sometimes even when I don't know I need it.
32. God. I always feel you there. I always know you there. Even when I ignore you.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Congratulations Shawna & Darrell!

On Friday, August 15th my cousin Darrell married his high school sweetheart, Shawna. Actually Shawna has been in love with Darrell since she was 13! After over a year of engagement and planning they finally had their big day!

Their day was vintage inspired and SO BEAUTIFUL. Shawna was such a gorgeous bride and you could clearly see that Darrell was over the moon. Every detail was thought of and it all flowed so effortlessly. Everyone was so happy and excited to be there and share in their special day. And it was great to see and hang out with all our family and friends that we don't get to see all the time.
I am so happy for you both! Congratulations!

9 Months

Dear Hubby,

Today we have been married 9 months. We spent the day our usual Sunday Way. Hanging out, TV, Olmpics, movies, Taco Bell and an easy dinner of Sloppy Joe's.

This weekend we were at a wedding. As I watched my cousins take their vows I thought about ours. For better, for worse. For richer, for poor. In sickness and in health. To love, honor and cherish. As I watched them stand in the place that we stood a mere 9 months ago I was overwhelmed by love and emotion.

You and I were meant to be. I know that. You stand up to me. You believe in me. You are secure in yourself. You are laid back enough for the both of us. You truly are the "cheese to my macaroni."

These last 9 months have not all been pure bliss. There has been the moves and now the loss of my job. There has been the adjustment of living with someone with whom you have never shared a space before and learning to be dependent. It hasn't always been what we thought but in some ways it has surpassed everything we thought it would be. You are truly my best friend, my confidant, my love, my sounding board, and my biggest cheerleader. You have held me while I cried, laughed at me with Georgia and yelled at me when I've been pig-headed. I love you more than I could have ever imagined. I longed for this place of comfort but was unsure I would ever get here.

Thank you. Thank you for loving me and fighting with me and believing in me and CHOOSING me. As exciting as the last 9 months have been I can only imagine how the next 90 years will be! I look forward to what the next chapter holds for us. We are on our way and I feel safer knowing you are by my side.



P.S. Jen, thanks for giving us a way to relive our day over and over again. You gave us the memories we so wanted to have.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Saddest Best Week of My Life

Tomorrow is it. And you will here all about it then. I feel very weird about the whole thing. Sad. Peaceful. Mad. Depressed. Nervous. Excited. BLAH. Stupid emotions.

Last week I took the time to go talk to my most favorite customers and tell them that I was getting laid off. And here is why it was the saddest, best week of my life:

"We are going to miss you so much. You were the best rep we ever had."

"Why did they choose you? They made a huge mistake."

"I just want you to know that I have left a message every single day since I found out that you were being laid off telling them how upset I was."

"What are we going to do without you? You are our helper!"

"What are they thinking?!"

"We are going to miss you so much."


These people are so kind. They have broken my heart and put it back together all week long. I'm going to miss them. I have to go cry now.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Tote Bag Swap

I joined the We the People Tote bag swap over at Tracey's blog about a month ago. I sent mine off today and I received mine today! SO CUTE! Not only did I get a cute tote but I got a wallet, a small tote and some cute fabric! Thanks Amy!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Will blog for food

So. You've all had time to adjust to my news about my divorce. Now, who wants my resume?

I hate looking for a job. HATE. IT. With a passion. I don't mind the interview process or any of that. It's the initial hunt and sending out your email. Personally I don't think I translate well onto paper. I mean it's not like you can write like you talk on a resume. And I'm much better and more me when I write like I talk. You know, like I do here. But somehow me thinks that potential employers don't want to hear me say "like" on my resume. Or me thinks.

Also having a hard time staying on task with my almost ex-job. It's hard to really care when you know you don't have to in a week and a half. And I so don't want to be a short-timer. I always hated when my employees did that to me. One nice thing though is each and every customer I have told has been disappointed that I was leaving. I've heard some really nice things about myself and my work in the last couple of days. Which is cool. It makes me feel all gooey inside. Oh and THANK YOU my internet peeps for being all encouragy and stuff. Even brought some of the lurkers out.

In other news I think my hubby and I have decided to fight as much as possible until we move. Nothing like taking the stress out on each. Good times. Casey told me that nothing will solidify my marriage like living with my parental unit. I REALLY hope she was serious.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Me and my job are breaking up

Remember this post lurkers? And I KNOW you are lurking because I see you on my site counter! Plus you all pretty much emailed me immediately trying to get the scoop.

Anywho, here is the scoop.

I'm getting laid off.

My and job are going splitsville.

I "knew" it was coming. Sort of. I had a very strong suspicion anyway. On Monday of last week my boss CALLED (I have a completely separate opinion on how it was handled) me and said that I needed to make a choice. I could take the severance package or I could take a demotion, a paycut, and lose my car (I have a company car that is completely paid for. I am an outside sales person.). Let me see. . .you want to DEMOTE me. You want to LOWER my pay and you want to ADD to my expenses? Hmmmmm. I know I'm being flippant, but it was a hard choice. I love my job and I love the people I work with. I have a great branch and great customers. Plus IT IS A JOB. But I really didn't want to take 3 steps back. I have worked really hard to get where I am and if I go backwards it will take me just as long to get back where I am! Even though they did tell me that if things turned around they would "probably" promote me back to my current position I just felt like I couldn't count on it. They can't predict what will happen. Heck, they didn't even predict this!

So as of August 15th I am no longer employed. I have no other job offer. I have a few things in the works but nothing I'm totally sure is a done deal. And while I know this is a business decision and it's not personal it is hard to not be a little pissed off by the whole thing. But I'm just trying to have a good attitude (despite what the picture at the top may tell you) about the whole. And not stress.

HA! Yea right.

OH, there's more. . .

The day I found out about my upcoming lay-off we got a letter from our apartment complex letting us know that our lease was coming up. We could either renew a year lease with a slight increase in rent or go month-to-month and pay $2000 PER MONTH. They seriously need to lay off the crack pipe. I mean, I don't live in a dump but it's not freaking Beverly Hills. It's less than 900 square feet! So on Friday when I announced that I would be taking the severance package I then went to our apartment complex and gave our notice.

That's right. I'm jobless and homeless.

Thankfully Hubby has already put in a transfer back to his old store in Sacramento. So in two weeks I lose my job, in 30 days we are moving to Sacramento. Oh and because we live in the Bay Area which is so expensive you can't save a single dime we are going to have to move in with my Parental Unit for a few months until we can buy me a car and save up some money to get into a new place. Oh lordy. It's gonna be interesting.

So if I seem a little more snarky than usual or a little down in the dumps now you know why. And if you know of anyone that's hiring I've got a shiny new resume!

Lion Hugs

Love this video. Made me get all choked up.