I guess my plea worked. Five hours after posting that I was being admitted to the hospital. Twenty hours and 30 minutes later my greatest blessing, gift, accomplishment was born. I have quite the store to tell with LOTS of drama but that will have to wait. Let's just revel in his cuteness, shall we? Thank you all for your texts, and Facebook posts and everything else. I'm so glad I got to share it with you.

Well, today's the day. That's what I'm told. Today's the BIG DAY. At least that's what they told me 10 months ago. They wouldn't lie to me about this right?  Ten months ago my midwife pulled out her little wheel-chart thingy and said February 9th was the day we were shooting for.  So I'm ready.  Bags are packed, car seat installed, bassinet cleaned and ready and we've got lots and lots of diapers. 

I'm 40 weeks pregnant and I'm over it.  God is pretty smart.  You are pregnant just long enough to get to the point that you could CARE LESS about how much pain is involved you just want the baby out.  And that's where we are at here in the Wilder household.  I had a rough day yesterday.  It started on Saturday when I had contractions all day 30 to 45 minutes apart.  I started to get excited thinking that was it.  And they promptly stopped at 7:30 p.m.  Saturday night neither Hubby or I got any sleep because I'm sick YET again.  I was coughing so much I kept us both up.  Sunday was worse.  I couldn't breathe, I couldn't blow my nose, and the coughing. Oy vey.  Sunday night was another night of sleeplessness and Monday I hit a wall.  I sat on my couch and sobbed for really no good reason other than I was tired, I was sick, I was frustrated and I am so darn tired of being pregnant.  Luckily I have the greatest Hubby in the world who came home and comforted me and held my hand and generally made me feel like I wasn't crazy.

Today we are heading out into the nasty weather to find a big shopping center to walk around in.  I think we both feel at this point if we aren't going to be sleeping much we might as well have a cute baby to look at.  And the contractions have started being more consistent again (yes I realize I could go on like for a week.  Please lie to me at this point.)  Besides, they did tell me today was the big day.  And they better be right or heads are going to roll.

I realize that it may be a little late in the game for this but it officially hit me yesterday that soon (due date in ONE WEEK) I will be responsible for pushing a watermelon size child out of my body.  Up until this point I haven't really been too nervous about the whole thing but HELLO WATERMELON?!  Also, coupled with the fact that OUCH these contractions that have started (not labor just those random contractions) hurt just smidgen and um, they are supposed to get worse has caused me to rethink this whole thing.  My mom told me that when she was pregnant with me after her and my dad went to their birthing class she told him in the car ride home that she had changed her mind and didn't want to have a baby after all.  He told her it was a little too late for that.  I'm taking a slightly different approach.  I still want the kid, but I'll pay any one of you to birth him.  Who's game?  Come on over and I'll tap you in.

Last weekend my Momma, my sister and my SIL threw me an AWESOME baby shower. Dr. Seuss themed! It was unbelievably cute. My mom and sister always throw THE BEST PARTIES as I've told you before and this was no different than any other time!


They had taken so much time to decorate the house and the food was amazing! There was Dr. Seuss books and characters everywhere. One of my cousins had come in a few days early (thanks Sherrie!), and her and my sister had baked these delicious sugar cookies in the shape of characters and frosted them. They were so good. I wish I had more to eat! (Next time you bake Sherrie you can send me some to test!) Of course there was yummy cupcakes and mini cheesecakes and lots and lots of food. They even made blue punch to go with the theme!

I had such a wonderful time with all my friends and family. I felt so special and loved. We received many wonderful things but more than anything I just enjoyed being with everyone and having them share in my happiness. Thank you all so much for taking the time out of your schedules to spend a little time celebrating our Jackson. I can't wait to share him with all of you. And again, a special thank you to my mom and my sister's for all your hard work. You guys rule!

One more week down, one more visit with the midwife over! I'm 38 weeks and we have PROGRESS! I'm 1 centimeter dilated and 50% effaced. I know this really means a whole lot of nothing but SOMETHING is happening down there and I have something other than the cramping, tightening and major pressure to prove it! So yea body and yea Jackson!


This weekend my mom, my sister, and my SIL threw me the most awesome baby shower ever. I can't wait to get the pictures to show you guys. They matched it up with the them of Jackson's room (which I will show you guys when I finish! 95% there!). It was all so cute and fun. I had such a great time and just enjoyed myself. Also, I actually wore real clothes, did my hair AND put on make up! That's an event around here these days!


We are now ready for a baby.  We have everything we need for him to live comfortably here.  I'm so excited I could pee my pants (which come to think of it I probably will because HELLO!  One more fun side effect of pregnancy!).  So come one baby!  Let's get this going!

When I started this pregnancy I noticed a real increase in the amount of dreams I had. Or at least the ones I would remember.  And they were like no other dreams I had ever had.  So vivid and real.  They weren't scary just crazy real and I would wake up and be blown away that it was actually a dream.  I remember one that I had about a baby crying.  I sat straight up in bed in the middle of the night because I was SURE it was my son. 

As I transitioned into my second trimester they seemed to go away.  I would dream every now and then but nothing that was that memorable.  It was a nice break because I wasn't getting woken up by these crazy dreams.  And then third trimester came around and all that changed.  The Dreams (and yes they deserve to be capitalized at this point.) were back and with a vengeance.  They have progressively gotten worse over the last two months and they are just vivid anymore.  Now its nightmares I'm having.

Last night 3 hours after I went to bed I woke with a jump because someone was about to hit me in THE HEAD WITH A HAMMER.  I had to actually get out of bed to shake it off.  I went back to sleep and woke 2 hours later because some crazy lady was hiding in my blinds and WANTED TO KILL ME.  I'm having these nightmares about once a week at this point and they are freaking me out.  In fact a few times when my hubby gets up to leave for work (he leaves around 4 a.m.) I make him leave the bathroom light on and I turn on the TV to fall back asleep too.  Last night after the second dream I was awake for about 2 hours.  Ugh.  Luckily I can rely on MTV and VH1 to entertain me with music videos.

Last night's dreams were the worst I've had so far.  Really scary.  And I've tried to be careful about what I watch before I go to bed so it won't trigger these dreams.  48 Hours and Criminal Minds have to wait and be watched in the light of day!  But I've also think there is a connection between what I eat too.  I have noticed that the spicy the food the crazier the dream.  Last night I made fajitas.  And not that they were crazy spicy but they are a little bit and it seems when I have something spicy it makes the dreams more vivid.  Don't know if I can give up my Mexican food though!  I'm just really ready for these dreams to stop.  I'm not much of a scaredy cat.  I've lived on my own and always did things for myself and never had too many scary moments but this is ridiculous.    Did any of you get visits from the boogeyman when you were pregnant?

I'm full-term.  37 weeks.  I made it.  Now he can come anytime.  Well, actually, no, I've changed my mind about that.  He needs to wait until my ribs are healed otherwise momma ain't gonna be any kinds of happy.  And will be screaming for the drugs I would like to try to resist.  I can't believe it's almost here.  In just a few short weeks (hopefully) I will have my little munchkin in my arms.  Crazy to think that I started this journey so long ago and now here it is coming to an end.  I can't wait!

So I have been having this AWESOME rib pain for about 2 weeks now.  If I cough, move a certain way, go to lay down it hurts.  Badly.  The doctor says to pop 2 extra strength Tylenol and deal.  But I think I just broke myself. 

Over the last couple of days it's actually gotten a little worse, not better despite the Tylenol.  And last night it was really hurting when I went to bed.  Well, this morning I woke up and it was still there.  I coughed, heard something pop and felt everything stiffen and seize up.  Super duper awesome.  So now apparently I have broken myself.  This does not bode well for my to-do list.

Nine months. 9. Whole. Months. I made it.  At the end of this week I will be considered "full-term".  I FEEL full-term right now!  I have definitely reached that stage of discomfort where I'm pretty much over being pregnant.  The only thing that is keeping me from REALLY wishing hard for Jackson to come is the fact that we are still putting the final touches on the nursery (I know!  I'm a little behind!) and the fact that I have a baby shower in 2 weeks.  I am officially okay with going into labor January 25th.  Just an FYI.

Everything is looking awesome.  Baby is still head down.  Unfortunately there is NOTHING else going on down there.  I've had this cold/cough for going on three weeks now and my doctor said that I can take some cough medicine for it so that's a relief.  And I have some how hurt my top right rib.  It hurts like a mother.  So everytime I cough I wince.  Everytime I turn a certain way I grimace.  Makes for some awesome faces.  But if I can stop this cough and give my ribs a break hopefully it will start feeling better.

I don't feel like I'm getting much bigger at this point.  Maybe I am and I can't tell.  They think the little man is weighing between 6 and 7 pounds right now.  Which is what my nieces weighed WHEN THEY WERE BORN.  I'm predicting a 9 pounder here.   Lord help me.

I've been doing a ton of sleeping.  Making myself sleep as much as possible every day.  One, it helps the day's go faster, two, I quickly run out of energy these days and three, the time is coming quickly where I won't be sleeping, I want to enjoy sleep while I can.  All in all I'm feeling okay.  Uncomfortable and huge but that comes with the territory.  Here's hoping I only have 2 and half more weeks to go!

So I have to choose a pediatrician.  I have NO idea how to do this.  I went to Kaiser's website and looked at the pictures of the pediatrician's and read their bio's but what does this really tell me?  A whole lot of nothing in my opinion.  I'm looking for someone really specific too.  I don't want someone who just tell me that "this" is what is commonly done and expect that to work for me.  I want someone who is going to take the time to explain procedures and why they work and why they recommend it. I'm not looking to do things like everyone else just because that's how it is done (I know.  So typical first-born-type-a).  But how in the world can I tell that from a PICTURE and a 300 character bio? 

So I need you folks to weigh in for me.  Especially you new moms.  How did you go about choosing a pediatrician for your kids?  And did you got through a couple before you found the one that fits?  It all seems a bit overwhelming to me right now.  I mean, I'm RESPONSIBLE.  I am responsible for another person's life and health and making the proper choices for them.  I don't want to be the one that screws that up!  So any advice at all will do!

Yesterday marks our first trip to Labor & Delivery.  It all went swimmingly.  The staff was great.  They were ready and waiting for me.  They got me right in and hooked up.  And all because I can't seem to stand up straight.  I have vertigo.

Let's talk vertigo for a minute, shall we?  Have you ever had it?  IT SUCKS.  And when I say that in all capitals I am yelling it.  It is the epitome of suckiness.  It's like a really bad hangover with the spins.  I can't tell you how much fun it is to stand up or sit up and suddenly find yourself nearly falling over because the world is upside down and gravity seems off.  They kept us there for about an hour and a half and monitored me.  They were worried that is was a high blood pressure issue, but my blood pressure was fine.  Jackson was happy as lamb, active as ever.  In fact they had to come in and adjust the monitor because he was moving so darn much.  No distress for the little mister. 

The OB on call said it isn't uncommon for her to see vertigo in pregnant women this time of year.  She suggested benadryl at night and sudafed during the day.  Both of which have been absolutely no help.  And the waves of wooziness that come with the dizziness?  Just another lovely side effect.  Lucky me!  As you can see I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself right now.  I have 100 things I want/need to be doing right now but most of those require me being able to stay upright for long than 10 seconds at a time.  So I'm wallowing a bit.  I don't take back anything I've said about the parts I enjoy about being pregnant, but this is one side effect I could have done without.  Especially because my body is already off balance due to the large belly in front and the loosening of my joints.  Guess I'll go sit in my chair and eat some chocolate until I feel all better.

32 weeks. THIRTY-TWO WEEKS. That's only about 8 weeks left people. I'm not ready.  I mean really.  I have WAY too much to do.  On the other hand I would really enjoy being able to breathe and eat and sleep (DON'T say it.  I KNOW.) again.

I had my monthly check-up yesterday. Everything is looking a-ok.  I'm measuring 33 weeks.  I only gained 3 pounds last month (YEA ME!).  And according to my midwife Jackson is in prime delivery position.  Which I could have told her from the butt sticking into my lungs and the fingers playing around down, ahem, south.

The last week has been a little rough.  Insomnia is getting worse.  I find myself staying up until I can barely keep my eyes open hoping that once I hit the bed I will zonk out.  Not so much.  It takes such an effort to find a comfortable position.  And I toss and turn all night.  My poor hubby is finding himself on the couch nearly every night.  Not because I make him move but because I keep waking him up.  Poor guy.  He has to be at work at 4 a.m. so he really needs his sleep.  And I'm sure part of the reason for his move is my snoring.  Oh yes.  I am now a champion snorer apparently.  Sexy.

The heartburn has been out of control too.  I'm trying a new tactic of eating small little meals all day long.  More like snacking all day.  And gulping my water down earlier in the day in hopes that it helps.  I have discovered if I just stay upright for at least an hour after I eat something it cuts down on the heartburn quite a bit.  And at this point everything gives me heartburn expect water.

My belly is starting to look like something out of Alien.  At different points of the day Jackson will just push against different parts of my belly and I look all lopsided.  His kicks are getting so strong they actually will make me jump.  And some of them tickle.  Which is weird.  I think we are both getting a little cramped with our situation and will be quite ready to have our own space.  But I know I will miss this time of just him and I.  We will never again be as close as we are now.  I believe everyone when they say that I will actually miss his kicks.  Although sometimes they hurt a bit they still make me smile.  That's my boy in there.  My son.  And I'm just about ready to see his scrunchy little face.

Do you remember this post about weight?  Did you read the post written by my friends Michelle and Lori?  If you didn't you should.  It was a good series and it was nice to read about other women's struggle with weight.  A few days ago I read another post that really touched me and brought it all to the forefront again.  Jenna over at That Wife is also pregnant with her first child.  She is a few months behind me but she wrote a blogpost the other day about pregnancy and weight gain that really hit me. 
I've shared with you before that I struggle with my weight.  I am, by no means, someone that will ever be 110 pounds or a size 6.  For me weight is a daily struggle.  Something that if I want to maintain a certain weight I have to be on top of it daily.  There is no break or down time.  Before I got pregnant I was attempting to not only drops some pounds but also change my body image and self-esteem about the whole issue.  I don't WANT to be someone that obsesses about it.  I don't want to spend my days counting calories and pounds.  I want to be healthy and I want to be proud of who I am no matter what my body looks like.
Before I got pregnant I had lost a little over 20 pounds of the course of quite a few months.  I was working on changing my attitude towards food and allowing myself to still enjoy food but within moderation.  When May hit and I got pregnant I wanted very much to not just throw caution to the wind and eat all the crap in the world because I'm now "eating for two (HELLO MYTH WE TELL OURSELVES TO EAT MORE!)".  The first trimester was not super easy.  I wasn't sick but I figured out quickly that if I didn't constantly keep my stomach full I would feel sick.  So I did.  Kept my stomach full and the pounds started coming back.  Second trimester was actually easier.  I gained less in those three months then I had in the three previous.  So I was feeling pretty good about that.  But now the weight is really coming on.  And coming on strong.  And two weeks ago I found my first stretch marks.  I am not kidding you when I say that as soon as I saw them I walked away from the mirror because I was ready to cry.  Personally I think making it to seven months without stretch marks is pretty good but now they are there and they are also coming on with a vengeance.  And every time I see them I cringe and quickly cover my belly. 
I know people say that this is not the time for me to worry about my weight.  That I'm supposed to gain weight, blah, blah, blah.  And I do get that.  But I don't want to be on the other side of this and have 100 pounds to lose (of course I exaggerate.  Lord help me if I did!).  Being a first time mom I can only IMAGINE the insecurities I will be facing at the time.  Am I doing this right?  Am I going to break him?  Will I be a good mom?  I don't want this to be one more insecurity piled on.  I do try to be aware of what I am eating and making good choices.  If I'm hungry during the day I try to reach for a piece of fruit over candy.  I'm not eating out anymore now that I'm not working but when I was I still tried to make good choices.  Sandwich vs. a hamburger.  At night the chocolate monster hits though and I have to have just a little bit.  Plus, I feel a bit doomed because all the women in my family get HUGE with pregnancy.  And I don't just mean fat.  I mean belly for days.  My teeny-tiny sister was a walking belly.  In reality I have gained most of it there.  I can still pull on my pants I used to wear and they fit everywhere but the belly.  I can pull my shirts on but nothing is buttoning across my, ahem, chest (HOLY cow people.  That's what I feel like.).  So I try to focus on that and think that maybe it isn't so bad.  But the fact of the matter is there is excess weight and Jackson isn't taking it all when he vacates the premises. 
This is not what I want to be focused on right now.  What I want to be focused on is this little guy that plays soccer for hours on end in my belly.  I want to be focused on preparing myself and my life and my house for this newest addition.  So how do I handle it?  How did you handle it?  Did you through caution to the wind and say "I'll deal with it then"?  Or did you deal with it daily? 

AMEN.

I've read online from multiple people and multiple sites that once the third trimester hits a lot of women experience insomnia.  I would read different womens blogs and twitter about how they would be wide awake at 3 a.m. and starving or unable to go back to sleep.  I'm exactly two weeks into my third trimester and am the lucky girl that is already experiencing this phenomenon.

Starting at the end of last week I wake up every night around 2 or 3 and am just awake.  I'm a little uncomfortable, sometimes really hungry, but mostly WIDE awake.  It's so annoying.  I find myself tossing and turning from side to side begging myself for sleep.  I have tried to counteract this by making sure I have a glass of milk before I go to bed so I don't get hungry but I still wake up.  I bought myself a body pillow awhile ago and that has worked like a charm up until now.  I just can't seem to figure out what it is.  All I know is that I'm super annoyed by it.  When I wake up I internally groan and think "Not again!".  People I just want my SLEEP.

Did any of you experience the third-trimester insomnia?  How did you deal with it?  I would love to hear any tricks or suggestions you have!

I'm officially 27 weeks.  Or at least I was as of Monday.  27 weeks.  I can't believe it!  Only 2 weeks left in my second trimester and then its off to the finish line.  I'm experiencing the fun pregnancy symptoms now.  Feeling Jackson's kick and punch my insides and today he had the hiccups!

I'm carrying him VERY LOW.  In fact that is the second thing women comment on when they see me.  The first is "HOW HUGE I AM".  So all is soccer playing he is doing is happening way, way down there.  My favorite part is when he is waking up in the morning.  He pretty much wakes me up every morning with his dance routine.

This past weekend I went with my Momma and we picked out the nursery stuff.  I'm so excited about it!  Although I did throw everyone for a loop because originally I had a very specific idea in mind and I completely went a different direction.  I'm not going to tell you what we are doing yet because I want to wait until we get it all together and show you.  But it has something to do with one of my favorite things!

Hubby has taken to giving my belly the rub down.  I think now that I'm really showing it is making it more real for him.  He hasn't been able to feel Jackson move yet because the little nudger stops moving as soon as I try to get Hubby to feel it!  I'm hoping soon he will be able to feel him move though. 

The worst parts right now is my stinkin' sciatic.  It doesn't bother me everyday but when it does it is pretty awful and will stay with me for a few days.  I haven't been having the headaches which is awesome.  I have been getting a little swelling but it's mostly when I'm on my feet too much and I need to give myself a break.

Today is exactly 13 weeks until Jackson's due date.  THIRTEEN WEEKS.  That is so close!  I can't believe that in such a short amount of time I'm going to have my son in my arms.  I can't wait!

Baby Jack's first picture.

The best moment of the day for me wasn't even when the big reveal came. Daddy and I went in first with the nurse so she could take all the pictures of you. Mommy couldn't see the screen so she just watched Daddy's face as he watched you jump all over the screen. The room was dark and quiet and Daddy was mesmerized by what he saw. Then he whispered to himself, "This is so incredible." And Mommy cried. Daddy is a man of few words and that was a lot for him.

The Money Shot.

The lady with the magic wand actually had some trouble getting pictures of you at first. You were all curled up like a U. And no matter how much we prodded at you, you stubbornly refused to budge. In fact we would prod and you would kick Mommy! You were sleeping just like Mommy does too, with your arms wrapped around your head.

Look at that strong leg!

I have known you were Jack all along. Mommies just know these things sometimes. Secretly I was already calling you Jack. Daddy wasn't so sure. He really wanted you to be a boy since he already has his little girl but I think he was afraid to hope so he was convincing yourself that he was a boy. Auntie Coley and Nina knew you were a boy too and already had gifts for you! Even Aunt Michelle knew you were a boy! So see you were meant to be our all along.

I want you to know my little Jack that never was there a Jack more loved and wanted than you. You are already the love of Mommy and Daddy's lives. And while we are so anxious to meet you and see you and hold you we can be patient, so you stay where you are for a few more months. Grow strong and healthy in your little cocoon. We will be here when you ready. Love you my little man.


Love, Mommy

Today I'm 19 weeks. Just shy of 5 months pregnant. I can't believe how fast it has gone! I keep waiting for the glorious 2nd Trimester feeling but I have to tell you I have actually felt WORSE in my 2nd Trimester than in my 1st.

Two Thursdays ago I was beat down by the flu. The doctor says maybe the Hog Flu but really who knows. So I had that for 4 days (over Labor Day Weekends which caused me to miss out on my family reunion!), went back to work for a whopping 2 hours when I got the MIGRAINE FROM HELL. And yes it must be capitalized. I have had migraines before. Some pretty bad but never, ever like this. This one made me physically ill, unable to eat and lasted for three days. Yes. Days. So I was out of work for a whole week. Awesomeness. I am, however, feeling much more like my snarky old self now so all is good in the hood.

The big news this week is that in just 4 days we are all taking a little field trip to radiology, they are going to squirt some goo on my ever growing belly and if my child isn't TOO modest we will know whether or not to go out and buy a football or a shotgun. And while it seems like it has taken forever to get to this point, it also seems like its taken just a minute. I'm so excited to know. We have our names picked out and we can finally stop calling him/her "The Baby" and start calling him/her by their rightful name. So look for the big announcement on Saturday!

Here I am at 16 weeks in the doctor's office. I cannot even FATHOM how huge I'm going to be at 8 months. I'm doomed. Sorry for the fuzzy phone photo!