Thursday, November 5, 2009

Blog Share Post

Here's the blog post written by one of the Blog Share participants.  And here is the list of all the participants again!  Enjoy! 

Not the Daddy
O is for Olson
Red Red Whine
Rediscovering Me
Reflections in the Snow-covered Hills
The Reluctant Grownup
Sauntering Soul
Serendipity Now
So, This Is a Treadmill
Thinking Some More
Time for Change
Together They Come
Wondering and Pondering
And You Know What Else
Andrea Unplugged
Bright Yellow World
Did I Say That Outloud?
Dispatches from the Failed Mommy Club
Full of Snark
Hot Chicks Dig Smart Men
Just Below 63
The Little Goat

I hate my boyfriend's family. They are very selfish, uneducated, and generally ignorant people. I'm so sick of having to pretend to like a group of people that do nothing for him except criticize, complain, and mooch.

I dread when the phone rings and it's them. I know that the only reason that they are calling is because they want something from us. While I have a real relationship with my family and they have accepted my boyfriend into our family with open arms, it's the opposite with these people. In order to be accepted by them, I feel that I am buying my way in. And it's not somewhere that I want to be.

But, how do you tell the person that you're in love with that the people that he spent his formative years with are not people that I would choose to be my family?

Truth be told about the whole situation, it makes me feel like a fake. I smile through gritted teeth when they tell him how happy they are that we've found each other. While in my mind, I'm thinking they're more glad that we're now in a position to ask for money if they need it. I have never felt like I need to buy a relationship with people. With his family, I know that if we turn their requests for money down, we look like the bad guys because we have the resources. But it drives me crazy that we earn our way through life and have had to give up many things to get into the position that we are now, while they sit at home and hope for the best. When 'the best' doesn't materialize, our phone rings.

I'll never understand how such a kind, generous, well-adjusted man could come from such a selfish group of people.


courtney said...

Ugh. I dated a guy once whose family I absolutely hated. It's a horrible feeling when you're being taken advantage of. It sounds like you and your hubby are on the same page, though.

NGS said...

It's a difficult situation especially if your relationship is going to be super long term. Does your boyfriend see their faults? If not, it may prove to be trouble later on (weddings, kids, even holidays can be a nightmare with in-laws who are selfish and quarrelsome).

Good luck with the situation. I wish you and your boyfriend the best.

Anonymous said...

I can't imagine how frustrating that must be.

Bree said...

This really stinks. And I will tell you that the things that drive you crazy about family BEFORE you get married (yours and his) will not suddenly improve because you get married. You will find that it, most of the time, gets worse or even more annoying. The key is to always make sure that you are on the same page with your partner and learn to be each other's safe place. And also remember that just as you wouldn't want him talking bad about your family (even if its true) he can and sometimes will get upset if you talk bad about his family. Good luck!

abbersnail said...

This would drive me absolutely insane.

Kate/Ben said...

Oh, least you're staying with your partner, I know people who've gotten out of perfectly-made-for-each-other relationships just because of the other's family. Be patient, and (hopefully) one day the right moment may come where you can be honest to your loved one.