Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Rules Kids REALLY need

So I TOTALLY stole this from Her Maj, but I just love it! I know a few teenagers I would like to share this with NOW.


Rule No. 1: Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teenager uses the phrase “it’s not fair” 8.6 times a day.

Rule No. 2: The real world won’t care as much about your self-esteem as much as your school does. It’ll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. (See rule No. 1)

Rule No. 3: Sorry, you won’t make $60,000 a year right out of high school. And you won’t be a vice president either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn’t have a Gap label.

Rule No. 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait til’ you get a boss. He doesn’t have a tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up he’s not going to ask you how you feel about it.

Rule No. 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different view on burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren’t embarrassed about making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Brittney Spears all weekend.

Rule No. 6: It’s not your parents fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of “it’s my life” and “you’re not the boss of me”.

Rule No. 7: Before you were born your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way by paying your bills and cleaning your room. And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood sucking parasites of your parents’ generation, try delousing your bedroom.

Rule No. 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers. Life hasn’t. In some schools failing grades have been abolished and class valedictorians scrapped, lest any ones feelings be hurt. Effort is as important as results. This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life. (See rules no 1 & 2).

Rule No. 9: Life is not divided into semesters, and you don’t get summers off. Not even Easter Break. They expect you to show up everyday. For at least 8 hours.

Rule No 10: T.V. is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials. In real life, people have to actually leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule No 11: Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them.

Rule No. 12: Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic. Ditto for expressing yourself with purple hair and/or pierced body parts.

Rule No. 13: You are not immortal. If you are under the impression that living fast, dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse is romantic, you obviously haven’t seen one of your peers at room temperature lately.

Rule No. 14: Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain and school’s a bother but someday you’ll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now.

Who do you know that needs this list? Pass it on internet, pass it on.

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