Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Friday, August 5, 2011

30 Day Photo Challenge - Day 5

Someone I Love
My dad has been gone for a month and while we all missed him I think someone missed his Ba Ba the most. To see my boy love my dad as much as I do makes me a little weepy.

Thursday, December 30, 2010


2010 is coming to the end.  It's been quite a year.  Mostly it has been the most amazing, life-changing year of my life.  Clearly the biggest thing that has happened is that I have become a mother.  It has changed me in ways I never thought imaginable.  It has changed my life, my marriage, my relationships in ways I never thought possible.    It is amazing to me that this little butterball of pink skin can shake my world to its core.  To watch the world come alive through his eyes and to experience the little things of life all over again.  I knew I would love him.  Adore him even.  What I didn't understand is that my love for him would change me.  That it would bring out my best and expose my worst.

Loving Jackson has brought out a gentler side in me.  It's funny because I never thought I was the housewife type until I got married and then I turned into my version of June Cleaver.  I always knew I wanted to be a mom but the mom I envisioned myself as was not the mom I think I am.  I feel better at this then I thought I would be.  I worried it I would have trouble fitting into the role but from the first moment I held him we belonged to each other and I could figure out what he needed.

That isn't to say there hasn't been plenty of cringe-worthy, I-just-lost-mommy-of-the-year award moments.  There has.  Some that I'm very, very glad have been just between him and I and no one was around.  But even in those moments when I know I have behaved my worst he turns and he smiles at me and I know all is forgiven.  And let me tell you, no one can forgive you like a child.  If only we adults could learn to let it go like they do.

Being a mother has also brought out or at least reminded me that there are definitely areas in my life I need to focus on.  Things about myself that I need to learn to love, learn to let go of and finally learn how to deal with. There are things I have pushed down and pushed aside because I just didn't want to deal with it, but I have come to realize that just isn't acceptable anymore.  I'm a mother.  I'm someone's example.  I'm someone who is guiding another's life.  What I do, say and behave like will forever impact who he will become.  How can I possibly instill self esteem in my son if I lack it?  How can I give him confidence if I don't show it?  The old saying of "do what I say, not what I do" is so false.  While kids do pay attention to what we say, more than anything they follow the examples of our behavior.  I know I can't and won't be perfect but I want to be the best version of me I can be.

So with 2010 in my rearview mirror and all the highs and lows that came with it I'm walking towards 2011 with high expectations.  This coming year is about me.  And that sounds incredibly selfish.  But frankly I CAN'T care about that.  These days are going fast.  I don't want to waste them worrying about damage I've done.  I want to use them to be the very best version of myself.  And not just for the boy, but for ME, for my husband.  We all deserve the very best of Bree.  I deserve to feel worthy DESPITE my age, weight, life choices or anything else I allow people to judge me by.  My husband deserves to have a woman by his side that helps him, stands beside him, lifts him up and makes him someone to be proud of.  My boy deserves a mom that can back up the confidence, can teach him love, loyalty and forgiveness.  2011 is about me becoming the woman I should be so I can teach my son how to be the man he can be.

Friday, December 24, 2010

We Wish You a Merry Christmas!!!

From our family to yours we hope your Christmas is a wonderful day full of family, food, and all your favorite things!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Three Years

Happy anniversary babe.  No matter comes our way I always know the best decision I've made is marrying you.  You are such a wonderful husband and an amazing father.  I love you so much!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Happy Birthday Nina!

Happy birthday to my Momma!  My baby's Nina.  We love you so much and are so grateful for all your do and are to us.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Blogger Silence

I had no intention of taking a blogging break.  But I have and I am.  I'm enjoying this summer of mine and find myself busier than I ever imagined hanging out with family and friends, playing in the pool, taking little mini vacations.  Plus I felt so stagnant in my writing.  Boring, boring, boring.  But I promise to be back soon.  Right after I get done hanging out with this kid.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Butterbean's View

My oldest niece got a hold of the camera.  She had a grand 'ol time.  I love that she was so into it.  I think I'm going to have to buy her a camera.

The girls head back to school in just a week.  I can't believe my oldest niece is going to be in first grade and my youngest in kindergarten.  It's going way to fast.  Slow down little ladies.  Tia loves you just the way you are.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

One Last Ride

He took it out for one last ride.  The guy he sold it to was coming to pick it up so he wanted to take it out for one last ride to make sure it was running well and I imagine, to say goodbye to the bike.  He had two young daughters and it was time to give it up.  My sister waited for him at my parents house with the girls.  They were excited because when Daddy got home they were going to the fair.

Forty-five minutes later he wasn't back.  He wasn't answering his phone.  When my dad got home he and my sister went out looking for him.  She got a call while they were on their way.  There had been an accident.  As they pulled up on the scene the ambulance was pulling away.

He had laid down the bike.  Slammed into a rock wall.  He hit the wall so hard his glove flew off.  Thank God he was wearing a helmet.  He destroyed his knee.  He was nearly unrecognizable under the road rash.  When I took my oldest niece to see him in the hospital she wouldn't go near him.  I didn't even see him the first day he was in the hospital.

Personally I think someone hit him.  He can't even remember what happened.  It was a windy road that kids speed down all the time.  I think they ran him off the road and kept on going.  Somebody called the ambulance and when they got there he was laying in the middle of the road and there was no one around.  So who called the ambulance?  And why the heck didn't they stop?  We will never get those answers, but I wish we could.

This started a four year long journey for my sister and her family.  A journey they are still working through.  My brother in law is fully recovered now but it took him multiple surgeries and a year long recovery process.  I thank God everyday that it wasn't worse.  That he did have that helmet on.  That who ever called the ambulance DID call, whatever their motivation.

This post is a part of Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Summer Vacation

I got my first job at 14.  I worked for a balloon company making fun little balloon bouquets.  I felt very important.  I've been working every year since then.  I worked part-time during high school, part-time during the college school year, full-time every college summer.  Basically I haven't had a summer off since I was 13.  Until this year.
This year I'm unemployed with a baby all my own.  We have been here, there and everywhere.  We've been to So Cal, the Bay Area and just about every corner of our hometown.  And I'm loving it.
I told my hubby the other day that I fully intended to take full advantage of this summer.  When will I ever have the chance again to just hang out with my friends, cuddle with my boy, work on my tan, take a nap in the middle of the day and visit my friends and family?  Probably never again I'm thinking.
So I'm going to enjoy this summer.  I'm going to soak up the sun and teach my boy to the love the water.  I'm going to spend leisurely days laughing with my friends and talking about absolutely nothing.  And I'm going to have lots of family dinners.  This might be my most favorite summer ever.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The Elegant Crown

My talented and lovely sister has opened up her Etsy store!  She is selling the most beautiful headbands.  Each of these are handmade by her and I'm trying very hard not to steal them away.  Click the picture below to check her store out and buy something!  And pass it along to your friends!

Saturday, May 15, 2010


My grandma is dying.  There is no other way to say that than just say it.  She will probably be leaving us in the next few days.

Back in March we went to Bakersfield to visit her to say our goodbye's.  We were told then that it probably would happen in the next 3 months.  At the time when they said that I thought, "Okay, that's some time.  I can see her a few more times."  I just realized it's already been 2 months.  I guess they were right on the timing.

This is my Dad's mom and his last living parent.  As sad as I am right now I'm even more sad for him.  My Grandpa died in 2007 just two months before I got married.  Grandma really started going downhill after that.  It was really sad because she would forget he had passed and everytime she remembered it was like it had just happened all over again.  Since then she has progressively gotten worse.  It's not even her health that has been so terrible but she just isn't there anymore.

When I saw her in March she couldn't keep track of who we all were.  My dad says she will mistake him a lot for one of her brothers.  So even though I was saying my goodbye's it was like she was already gone.  She's not the woman I remember growing up. 

She's not the woman who took two little girls right into her family and treated us as if we had always been there.  I guess I shouldn't be surprised too much by that because that's exactly what my dad did and he had to have learned that love from somewhere.  I remember driving to Grandma and Grandpa's late at night and our parents would carry us in and lay us on the pallet they made for us on the ground.  Then in the morning we would hear Grandma and Dad singing in the kitchen while they made breakfast.  And she would hug and kiss on us and tell us how happy she was to have us there. 

I'm going to miss her but I know that where she is going she is going to be herself and so much happier.  Plus she is going to be with Grandpa.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010


My nieces LOVE Jackson. I mean IN LOVE with him.

Butterbean, the oldest, is always writing him notes telling him how much she loves him. And we call her the hand nazi. She asks everyone before they touch him if they have washed their hands. The minute I walk in the door she heads to the bathroom, washes her hands and then lets me know she did. She even called my sister out one day for not washing her hands.

Lovebug, the youngest, is always telling me how cute he is or how soft. Today she told me how stinky he was when I changed his diaper. I'm glad he has this little girls to adore him. The three of them will be quite the troop when they get older.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Happy Birthday Sister

Today is my sister's birthday.  There are a lot of things I could tell you about her.  I could tell you how we fought like cat's and dog's growing up.  We were never friends.  Just sisters.  Together because we were forced that way.  We were very different.  Me ever pushing to get away and her happy to be close to home.  We were merely sisters until about six years ago.  I moved home, defeated, and she was pregnant with my oldest niece.  Somewhere in between the pregnancy and birth we found our common ground. 

At that time she lived around the corner from me.  And my niece was a hard baby.  Colicky, crying, never would sleep.  Tia was more than happy to drop by at any time and hold her and rock her.  Somewhere in between the tears of Grace we found our best friends in each other.  She would always look out for me and I would be her helper. 

Over the last six years I have come to rely on her as my sounding board, my confidant, the person in my corner, my shoulder to cry on.  She has been there for me through some really awful break-ups and finding the love of my life.  I've been there for her through her kids and as her life literally turned upside down. 

I love you Coley and I'm so proud to be your sister.  I am in awe of you and your strength.  You persevere.  You keep fighting.  You don't give up.  You give your girls and husband and soft place to land, never stopping to think about yourself.  You are there for all of us no matter the circumstance.  Your heart is so giving.  You are an amazing wife, the perfect mom and my best friend.  Do you remember that moment when I was giving birth to Jackson and I was so tired and I couldn't breathe?  I looked to you and you talked me through.  I remember your voice getting quiet and it was all I could hear.  That is why you are who you are to me.  Because I can always count on you to get me through.  Thank you for that.  Love you so much.